Read The Secret of Ella and Micha for Free Online

what he wants—the voice that makes me feel alive inside. “Baby, come on. Please. We need to talk.” He leans in to kiss me.
    The suddenness throws me off balance and I trip over my own feet. “Micha, stop it.” I gently push him back and he staggers into the edge of the counter. “You’re drunk. And I’m going home.”
    “She’s acting weird… like she’s way too calm,” Ethan remarks, with a wave of his finger. “And she’s dressed funny, like that girl we use to go to school with. What’s her name?” He snaps his fingers. “Stacy…. Stacy…”
    “Harris,” I say exhausted. “And I look like a girl that went away to college and grew up.”
    Lila slants forward. “Ella’s been this way since I’ve known her, but I’m really curious what she used to look like with the way everyone keeps talking about her because I can’t picture her any other way besides this.”
    Micha and Ethan trade drunken looks and then howl with laughter. The room quiets down a little as people glance in our direction.
    “What’s so funny?” Lila frowns and looks to me for help. “I’m so lost.”
    “Nothing. They just think they’re funny.” I dodge around Micha, but he seizes my elbow and hauls me back against his chest. “Hey relax, baby.” He kisses my forehead and gives me his innocent face. “Please don’t go. I just got you back.”
    Before I took off, the boundaries of our friendship were starting to blur. I thought time would fix this, but it seems like we’re back to where we started. As much as I would love to melt into him, it just can’t happen. I can’t open up like that and lose control. I need control.
    “No one’s got me back. I’m just here for summer break and only because I didn’t have money to rent an apartment,” I say and his expression falls. “The Ella you knew is gone. She died on that bridge eight months ago.”
    He blinks, as shocked as I am. His lips part then he clasps them shut, struck speechless.
    “I didn’t mean that,” I say quickly. “I’m sorry, Micha. I just can’t deal with this.”
    “Don’t be sorry for being real,” he says, rubbing his forehead with the back of his hand.
    I force the lump in my throat down. “I’m sorry,” I say again, and then weave through the crowd and out the back door, inhaling the fresh air.
    “What’s your problem?” Lila asks as she catches up with me at the edge of my driveway. She squashes her plastic cup and tosses it into the trash can on the back porch. “I’m so confused. What just happened?”
    “I needed to get out of there before I lost it.” I don’t slow down until I’m in my room where I close the door and shut the window, locking away the world. I sigh back against the wall, breathing in the quiet.
    Lila watches me with inquisitiveness as she pulls her hair back into a bun and puts some lip gloss on. “Ethan and Micha act like you used to be someone else. Like this isn’t the real you. Want to explain?”
    “Not really.” I push away from the door and collect some pajamas from the duffel bag. “I’m going to go take a shower. Do you need anything from downstairs?”
    “Yeah, for you to tell me why those guys have you so frazzled.” She unclips her watch and tosses it into her purse that’s on the bed. “I’ve never seen you so worked up like that. You basically had an orgasm when you first saw him.”
    “I did not,” I say, embarrassed and annoyed. “And you haven’t seen me that worked up because I’m not that person anymore.”
    “Except for when you’re around him,” she insinuates. “When you were talking to him, there was something in your eyes I’ve never seen before. You were always so closed off to all the guys at parties and in school. Honestly, I thought you were a virgin. But the way you and Micha were looking at each other—you’ve had sex with him, right?”
    Pressing my lips together, I tuck my pajamas under my arm, and shake my head. “No, Micha and I’ve never