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back one hundred years. “I think so,” I whispered, “I met a maid. She’s tiny.” Right then I heard more footsteps stomping along the corridor.
    “She doesn’t sound tiny,” Agnes gasped.
    I grabbed her arm and steered her towards a big open cupboard full of towels and bars of soap. “That’s not her,” I hissed. “We need to hide, fast!”

8
    Smells! I had only been in history minutes and already I’d had enough for a lifetime: first tar and bleach, now overpowering soap, and they all made me feel sick. Plus, this was the second cupboard I’d been in and, like I said, I hadn’t exactly been in the past long. I imagined the postcards I would send – they’d be black:
    Hi guys,
    This is a cupboard. Be glad you’re not here.
    Hang loose.
    Saul. X
    1914 – I think!
    “Whoever it is they’re heading this way,” Agnes whispered in my ear. (The edge of a shelf was jammed into my other ear.) I didn’t need Agnes to tell me that. I could hear STOMP-STOMP-STOMP marching right into that bathroom – and, inside the cupboard, my heart going THUMP-THUMP-THUMP.
    “You seeing things again, Elsie Noble? Because if you are it’s a box round the ears you deserve.”
    “No, it was a spy; honest, Mrs Buchan, it was. A right rude, ugly one too. You said yourself there was a war coming.”
    Agnes nudged me in the ribs. I could tell by the way she was shaking she was trying hard not to laugh.
    “Folks speak of little else. War, war, war.” Mrs Buchansounded scarily close, like on the other side of the cupboard, and probably at least six feet tall.
    “And he was in stranger clothes than any I ever saw. Honest, Mrs Buchan.”
    I bit my lip. What if I suddenly got the hiccups? Or if Agnes suddenly sneezed?
    “If I was given a penny for every time you said ‘Honest, Mrs Buchan,’ I’d be rich. I’d not kow-tow and polish and mend and Lord knows what else. I’d not rise at six to try and make order in this house. Oh no, Elsie Noble. I’d be off. I’d wash my hands of service once and for all and stride out of this house.”
    “I’m not making it up, honest, Mrs Buchan. A big boy was in the broom cupboard, he was. Frightened the living daylights out of me.” It sounded like wee Elsie was ready to burst into tears. What if she got all wet in the face and yanked open the cupboard to fetch a towel?
    “Talking of brooms, you need to scrub down the back hallway.
Scrub,
mind, not slap a wet flannel around the floor. That’s after you’ve given this tub a good scouring. The Master complained he took his bath with a spider. Any more shoddy work, Elsie Noble, and you’ll be out on your ear. Now look sharp, and for the love of God, lassie, carry a clean handkerchief with you. We can’t have you coughing all over the place. I don’t need to remind you we’ve an important guest arriving. Lord knows Gaunt reminds
me
of it ten times a day.” At last, the giant housekeeper stomped off. All went quiet out there in the W.C.
    Elsie had a wee coughing fit, then sighed and said, “There’s nothing wrong with a spider.” Agnes elbowed me in the ribs. Elsie carried on. “Just because you and me’s little, folks think they can just squash us and step on us, but it’s not right. I’ll put you over by the washstand then I can get on. Looks like the Master’s been in the bath with his riding boots all mucky.Thinks just because he’s rich he can do as he likes.” Agnes shifted slightly. By this time a towel was sticking in my face. The wee maid kept up her chatter with the spider. “Easy for muckle Mrs Buchan to say ‘Clean this, clean that, scrub this, scrub that.’ It’s not her whit fetches the water, is it? If Frank didn’t help lug it in for me I don’t know what I’d do. And I am too tired by far to fetch water now.”
    Then it sounded like the maid clambered into the bath, the very bath Agnes had just clambered out of. Then, judging by the little puttering snores we could hear, she must have fallen fast