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words. “Because she deserves better than me,” he said finally.
    “You’re kidding, right?” Realm asked.
    “No.”
    Realm was completely caught off guard, and glanced at the woods on the side of the interstate, trying to figureout James’s thought process. He couldn’t. “Okay,” Realm said, turning to him. “I’ll admit this is a bit of a conflict of interest,” he said, “considering I thought I was the right person for her for a long time. But I was wrong. Why in the world would you ever think you weren’t good enough? You’re annoyingly good.”
    “See,” James said, tapping his temple, “I remember that’s not true. After Miller died . . . I failed her. I promised to keep us both safe, but instead, she had to keep me safe. She gave up everything to try to save me. She fought so fucking hard, Michael. I remember how she begged me to come back. But I was too weak. If I would have been stronger, she would have never gone into The Program in the first place. Don’t you understand?” He looked at Realm, tears welling up in his eyes. “I’m the reason she was erased. Not you.”
    James turned back to the road, and Realm stared at him in disbelief. Then he laughed, startling James into looking at him again. “Damn,” Realm said. “We are both pathetic.”
    “What?” James asked.
    “We blame ourselves for everything. Jesus. Do you really think it was your fault? Your best friend killed himself and you grieved—yet the entire Program is your fault? Sloane’s therapy was your fault? Wait, did you cause global warming? You’re an asshole.”
    James’s mouth flinched with a smile, but he shook his head. “Don’t make jokes right now. I’m feeling sorry for myself.”
    “Obviously. But I’m going to be real here,” Realm said. “You need to go back to your girlfriend. You said she fought for you, but you must have forgotten the part where you fought for her, too. Where you spent years making sure neither of you got flagged. How you lied in The Program for as long as you could to protect her. How you threatened to kick my ass for being rude to her, even though you had no idea she was your girlfriend.” Realm groaned, and leaned his head back against the seat.“And do you remember when the Treatment kicked in?” Realm asked.
    James flinched. “Of course.”
    “You could have died,” Realm said simply. They had never talked about the days following James’s escape from the handlers, how difficult they had been. That very night at the motel—one that Asa had secured before leaving to return to The Program—James’s memories had started to flood back.
    Within moments, James was curled up on the ratty carpet, crying for Brady and Miller. For Sloane. This was the side effect of the Treatment they had been warned about. All the memories crashing back at once, some out of order. Some too dark to handle.
    But Realm had been through it before. He’d survived the Treatment, and although he wasn’t a fan of James, he saved him. Like when James remembered how he’d carved Miller’s name into his arm, the absolute grief of it all.
    James started screaming and Realm was worried they’d be discovered. He wrestled James into the small bathroom and pushed him into the tub before turning on the cold water. The shock worked to get him through that moment. James looked up from the tub, wet and teary-eyed. “We have to save Sloane,” he said desperately.
    The attacks continued, again and again. But each time that James made it through, Realm found himself respecting him more. Admiring his determination. Eventually, Realm joked that when he grew up, he wanted to be just like James.
    “But you didn’t die,” Realm said, looking over to where James sat behind the steering wheel. “You’re a nice guy, James. What you’re doing right now, ‘Sloane deserves better,’” he mimicked. “Total nice-guy move. Stop it. You make the rest of us look bad.”
    James glanced over. “Says the person