Read The Reason I Jump: The Inner Voice of a Thirteen-Year-Old Boy With Autism for Free Online

that’s not an option – we can never make ourselves understood. Even when we’re in the middle of a panic attack, people either don’t get what’s happening to us, or else they just tell us to stop crying. My guess is that the despair we’re feeling has nowhere to go and fills up our entire bodies, making our senses more and more confused.

Q30 W HY ARE YOU TOO SENSITIVE OR INSENSITIVE TO PAIN?
    Among people with autism, there are some who make a huge fuss when they have their hair or nails trimmed, even though it shouldn’t hurt at all. At the same time, there are people who stay very calm and collected, even when they’ve got an injury that’s obviously painful.
    I don’t think this is all to do with nerves and nerve-endings. It’s more a matter of ‘inner pain’ expressing itself via the body. When memories suddenly come to people, we experience a flashback – but in the case of people with autism, memories are not stored in a clear order. For those of us who are disturbed by having their hair and nails trimmed, somehow their negative memories are probably connected to the action.
    A normal person might say, ‘Oh, he’s never liked having his hair cut or his nails trimmed, ever since he was small, and we’ve no idea why.’ But the thing is, the memory of a person with autism isn’t like a number-scale from which you pick out the recollection you’re after: it’s more like a jigsaw puzzle, where if even just one piece is mis-inserted, the entire puzzle becomes impossible to complete. What’s more, a single piece that doesn’t belong there can mess up all the surrounding memories as well. So it’s not necessarily physical pain that’s making us cry at all – quite possibly, it’s memory.
    As for people who don’t show any signs of pain, my guess is that they’re unable to keep those signs on display. I think it’s very difficult for you to properly get your heads around just how hard it is for us to express what we’re feeling. For us, dealing with the pain by treating it as if it’s already gone is actually easier than letting other people know we are in pain.
    Normal people think we’re highly dependent and can’t live without ongoing support, but in fact there are times when we’re stoic heroes.

Q31 W HY ARE YOU SO PICKY ABOUT WHAT YOU EAT?
    Some people with autism keep to a very limited diet, it’s true. I don’t really have this problem myself, but to some degree I can understand where they’re coming from, I think. We do this business called eating three times a day, but for some people having to eat different meals each time can be a major headache. Each type of food has its distinct taste, colour and shape. Usually, these differences are what make eating a pleasure, but for some people with autism, only those foodstuffs they can already think of as food have any taste. Everything else is about as appetizing as toy food you might be served at a little kid’s ‘pretend tea-time’.
    So why do these people experience new food this way? You could say, ‘because their sense of taste is all messed up’ and have done with it. But couldn’t you also say that they just need more time than the average person to come to appreciate unknown types of food? Even if they’d be happy sticking with only those foods they’re used to eating, in my opinion meals aren’t just about nutrition – meals are also about finding joy in life. Eating is living, and picky eaters should definitely be nudged towards trying different foods little by little. That’s what I reckon, anyway.

Q32 W HEN YOU LOOK AT SOMETHING, WHAT DO YOU SEE FIRST?
    So how do people with autism see the world, exactly? We, and only we, can ever know the answer to that one! Sometimes I actually pity you for not being able to see the beauty of the world in the same way we do. Really, our vision of the world can be incredible, just incredible …
    You might reply, ‘But the eyes we all use to look at things work the same way,