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them. A refusal under the present conditions
would hurt his standing at the yeshiva for no purpose at all, or at least no
practical purpose. He now realized why some rabbis chose to avoid decisions on
purely theoretical questions. Such positions have no relevance to real life and
only succeed in angering those who do not agree with the opinions. Rabbi
Feinstein himself had written in his book that he does not answer any questions
until they are officially put before him for resolution.
    On
the other hand, there was an ethical question. Is one allowed to commit himself
to an action that cannot come to pass? Is one allowed to say, ‘If I had a
million dollars, I would give it to charity,’ even though he only has a few
dollars in his pocket? Wasn’t there an element of deception in this, an attempt
to pander for recognition? Am I, Aaron Adler, allowed to pose as one who would
sacrifice to help my rabbi and school, secure in the knowledge that I never
will be called upon to do so?
    Aaron
was tempted for a moment to seek advice, but he quickly gave up the idea. The rabbis
could advise him to go or not to go to Dunberg. On that question he already
knew where each rabbi stood. On his variation of the theme, he did not feel
that they would sense the subtlety of the issue. They would simply say to him
it is either right to go or wrong. If it is wrong, you must refuse even if
there is no chance that you will be selected. Even though Aaron could cite
cases where laws were changed because of extenuating circumstances, he knew
that his rabbis would take the position here that the law was absolute. They
would never agree to say that there was one law for him and another law for
Shalom Pinkes.
    When
Aaron realized that he could not reach a conclusion, he explored a different
track. He considered responding that he would not volunteer to go but would
agree if he were ordered to do so. He dismissed the option almost at once. The
yeshiva would never order anyone to do such a thing. Furthermore, it was he
himself who had pointed out to the dean that one cannot excuse his improper
actions by saying that he was instructed to do so by others. He then considered
demanding a statement that the very existence of the yeshiva was in danger if
someone did not go to Dunberg. That way he could justify his actions on the
grounds that the matter was analogous to a life and death situation where
Jewish law is suspended. He quickly realized that such a statement would never
be forthcoming from either the dean or the director. It was then that he
concluded that he had no recourse other than to explore the primary issue. He
had to arrive at a decision as to whether it was proper for him to conduct
services in Dunberg or not. Time was running out on any attempts to avoid
facing the issue squarely.
    Systematically,
Aaron formulated the major question. Should a Jew disassociate himself from other
Jews because they have departed from proper religious practice? Should he
refuse to worship in the presence of transgressors? Rabbi Kurland obviously
thought that a Jew is responsible for his own soul first. He is not called upon
to give up his eternal life to help save other souls. His own rabbi back home
thought otherwise. While thinking along these lines, Aaron suddenly remembered
the words of a prayer preceding the Kol Nidre . It was a statement by the
rabbinic court of the congregation that permission was being granted to worship
amidst transgressors. That statement arose from historical times where among
the worshippers were those who had undergone forced conversions to Christianity
in order to save their lives. They lived as Christians, but, once a year on Yom
Kippur night, they reaffirmed their Judaism.
    Of
course, no one was compelling the Jews of Dunberg to violate the Sabbath or eat
non-kosher food. They sinned for convenience. Also to be considered was the
fact that, in Spain, the worship conformed to all religious requirements except
for the presence of