Read The Pre-Nup for Free Online Page A

bands.
That’s, like, the mark of a sociopath. I’m not marrying a sociopath.”
    “Then I guess this isn’t really an issue anymore.” Jen folded the pre-nup draft in half and passed it back to Mara.
    “I guess not. Let’s open another bottle to celebrate. Got any champagne?”
    “How about a gallon of water and a hearty bowl of quinoa with fruit instead?”
    “You suggest quinoa at a time like this? Really? Remind me again why we’re friends?”
    Jen grinned. “Because some admissions staffers at ASU had a warped sense of humor when they assigned freshmen roommates.”
    Mara grinned back. “Talk about sick and depraved. Anyway, health food would just work against me right now. I have a wedding cake tasting appointment in an hour, and I need to be good and blotto.”
    “But you just said that you’re not going to marry Josh.”
    “Of course I’m not. The man called me a filthy whore.” Mara waved the pre-nup. “But the baker’s expecting me and it’d be tacky not to show. Besides, I would kill for a slice of chocolate cake right now, and I know I’m not going to find it in your pantry.”
    “I have carob chips,” Jen offered.
    “You’re killing me. Come on, let’s go gorge ourselves on refined sugar and trans fats. And, hey, we should pick up Ellie on the way. She needs a therapeutic dose of chocolate even more than I do.”
             
     
    As they stood under the vast, arched stone portico of the Barton house, they could hear crashes emanating from within: sharp, staccato shatterings punctuated by muffled slams and thumps.
    Jen’s eyes widened. “Wow. Do you think she’s beating him to death in there?”
    “With his golf clubs, sounds like. We got here just in time to save her from a homicide charge.” Mara rang the bell and yelled, “Ellie! Put down the weapon! You have potential witnesses out here!”
    No response, but Mara wasn’t easily deterred. She hammered away on the heavy brass door knocker until Ellie finally opened up.
    “Ladies. How lovely to see you both.” Ellie’s pink polo shirt and fitted dark jeans were splotched with patches of fine white dust, and her right hand was bleeding. She smoothed wisps of dark brown hair back from her face. “What can I do for you?”
    Jen tried not to gawk. “Are you okay in there?”
    “Yeah, the jig is up.” Mara craned her neck to peer down the hallway. “We know you’re sending Michael to the great nineteenth hole in the sky.”
    “Oh, Michael’s not here right now. He’s having a leisurely lunch with his mistress, and Hannah’s at a play date, and I am systematically smashing all of our wedding china.” Ellie glanced down at her right palm as if surprised to see the thin ribbon of blood. “So I’m a bit busy at the moment. Come back later?”
    “You shouldn’t be alone right now.” Jen braced her hand against the open door. “Why don’t you come with us and—”
    “Can’t.” Ellie shook her head. “I still have the soup tureen, the teacups, and the serving platters to take care of.”
    “We’re going to get cake,” Mara coaxed.
    “Sounds lovely, but…” Ellie’s vacant smile was both disturbing and serene. “The soup tureen. Duty calls.”
    Mara threw Jen a look, then patted Ellie on the shoulder. “You want the soup tureen destroyed? Show me the way. Turns out, I’m having kind of a crockery-smashing day myself.”
    Ellie ushered them into the elegant dining room done up in warm, red-toned wood and accented with cream and green silks. The doors to the sideboard were flung open and shards of porcelain littered the floor, where the plush green patterned rug had been rolled back to expose the varnished hardwood.
    “Jeez.” Mara whistled. “You’ve got quite the pitching arm.”
    “Remember my wedding day? It was perfect. Perfect weather, perfect dress, perfect couple. And now he’s cheating and lying and I’m keying cars and vandalizing with vomit.” Ellie rummaged through the sideboard and