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underestimate the power of compassionately recognizing what’s going on.
    When we’re feeling confused about our words and actions and about what does and does not cause harm, out of nowhere the slogan “Of the two witnesses, hold the principal one” might arise. Of the two witnesses—self and other—we’re the only one who knows the full truth about ourselves.
    Sometimes the way we see our ignorance is by getting feedback from the outside world. Others can be extremely helpful in showing us our blind spots. Particularly if they cause us to wince, we’d be wise to pay attention to their insights and criticism. But ultimately, we are the ones who know what’s happening in our hearts and minds. We’re the only ones who hear our internal conversations, who know when we withdraw or feel inspired.
    When we begin to train we see that we’ve been pretty ignorant about what we’re doing. First, we see that we are rarely able to relax into the present moment. Second, we see that we’ve fabricated all kinds of strategies to avoid staying present, particularly when we’re afraid that whatever’s happening will hurt. We also see our strong belief that if only we could do everything right, we’d be able to find a safe, comfortable, and secure place to spend the rest of our lives.
    Growing up in the fifties, for a while I believed that what I saw on television sitcoms was the typical family. They all got along. Nobody got drunk or flew into a rage. There was never any real ugliness. Many of us watching thought, of course, that only our family was the exception to the norm. The truth went unspoken in favor of this American dream.
    As we practice, we begin to know the difference between our fantasy and reality. The more steadfast we are with our experience, the more aware we become of when we start to tighten and retreat. When we are denigrating ourselves, do we know it? Do we understand where the desire to lash out at another is coming from? Do we aspire not to keep going down that same old self-destructive road? Do we realize that the suffering we feel is shared by all beings? Do we have any longing for all of us to stop sowing the seeds of misery? Only the “principal one” knows the answers to these questions.
    We can’t expect always to catch ourselves spinning off into a habitual reaction. But as we begin to catch ourselves more frequently and work with interrupting our habitual patterns, we know that the bodhichitta training is seeping in. Our desire to help not just ourselves but all sentient beings will slowly grow.
    So in all activities, not just sometimes when things are going well or are particularly bad, train with the bodhichitta slogans of Atisha. But remember, “Don’t try to be the fastest,” “Abandon any hope of fruition,” and “Don’t expect applause”!

    1. For more information on the mind-training slogans, please refer to the appendix, where all fifty-nine slogans are listed, as well as to the list of books on slogan training in the bibliography.

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    Four Limitless Qualities
     
May all sentient beings enjoy happiness and the root of happiness.
May we be free from suffering and the root of suffering.
May we not be separated from the great happiness devoid of suffering.
May we dwell in the great equanimity free from passion, aggression, and prejudice.
     
—THE FOUR LIMITLESS ONES CHANT
    I T’S UP TO US. We can spend our lives cultivating our resentments and cravings or we can explore the path of the warrior—nurturing open-mindedness and courage. Most of us keep strengthening our negative habits and therefore sow the seeds of our own suffering. The bodhichitta practices, however, are ways for us to sow the seeds of well-being. Particularly powerful are the aspiration practices of the four limitless qualities—loving-kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity.
    In these practices we start close to home: we express the wish that we and our loved ones enjoy happiness and be free of suffering.