badly and you never
returned my calls or texts,” Ryder said.
He did not speak like a guilty man and his
eyes were not lying. Boy was he good.
“I stopped in to grab a bite to eat before I
cruise back to school.”
“I wasn’t aware that you had spent the weekend
in town.”
How could he have not noticed Sayler and me
squealing? We were right next-door. Ryder was insulting my intelligence.
“I was at my mother’s house all weekend,
Ryder,” I spoke slowly as if to say Duh –
I saw everything.
“Oh.” Ryder was silent. He knew I had seen him
with Samantha and his son.
“Cat got your tongue?”
Ryder still had his hand on my shoulder. He
grew uncomfortable and put his hands in his pockets.
“Cat—no, more like a mountain lion. You have
eyes and you were right next door. I was hardly hiding.”
“Yeah, Ryder, I saw you and Sammy and your
son. I’m so confused. You owe it to me—come clean. I was fucking tortured
watching you and your family frolicking. You must’ve seen and heard Sayler and
me while we were hurling tomatoes at one another.”
Ryder started to chuckle, which was annoying.
Soon he broke into obnoxious laughter, which really pissed me off. I was
prepared to smack the smile off his face.
“Jenna, I understand the confusion but you are
far off base.”
“Don’t fucking patronize me…Professor Curran.”
I pulled my hand back. I was about to slap him
across the face. Ryder caught my arm on its way towards his cheek. He used my
arm to drag me away from the restaurant into the kitchen. The cook looked up
and then went back to chopping, as if it was something he was used to seeing.
“Jenna, I can handle cancer and all that
brings with it but I can’t handle being slapped in public. Okay, you can slap
me now.” Ryder closed his eyes in preparation for my open-handed slap.
“I can’t do it Ryder. I haven’t slapped a
person since kindergarten—and he really deserved it. Are you ready to tell me
the truth—the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?”
“Yes, your honor. Will you go outside with me
where we can have some privacy at least?”
I extended my hand and Ryder pulled me along.
****
We chose a spot on the sand facing the ocean
with the golf course behind us. On any other occasion, it would have been a
magnificent spot. The waves were crashing far from shore and their sound was
all we could hear. The dunes provided a blind from any golfers on the course. We
were completely alone – good spot to have wild sex but the thought of sand up
my ass made me uncomfortable. Ryder and I sat on the sand facing one another.
He cupped my hands and looked at me directly with his stunning green eyes.
“Jenna, I was keeping a secret from you, but
it is not what you expect. What you are thinking is far from the truth. The
mythical Sammy is actually my nine-year-old son from a marriage that I started
and finished years ago. You saw a trio, in some respects a family, doing the
best they possibly could. The woman you saw is my ex-wife, Sally Housley . We are friends. I will tell you more about her
later. She is not a secret, but it’s a long, boring story for another time,”
Ryder said and then paused. I sensed he was waiting for my reaction.
I gave away nothing. “Many thirty-three year
old people have kids. By now, it is understandable that you would have an
ex-wife. You are not unique. Why keep Sam a secret? It was apparent you are
fond of him.”
“I love Sammy, and once I get started talking
about him, I won’t stop. I have turned to secrets because I want an authentic
relationship. If women know I have cancer, they tend to take pity on me. When
they find out I have a kid, they run for the hills.”
“Why do you think that is?” I asked.
He released my hands and started pacing.
“I have heard it all. I have been accused of
being a bad father, used up, or old.”
“I don’t think you are used up and you are
clearly not a bad father. You get points