Read The More You Ignore Me for Free Online Page B

lemonade.
    A shandy!
    Can you believe it?
    I nearly came to blows with the bewhiskered bartender, and for what?
    My date was not a suitable life-mate anyway, and so I withdrew, taking the Greyhound bus home shortly thereafter.
    To see my homely nephew mark the occasion this way was unfortunate, but to see a jewel of femininity like Charli planning such a fête is appalling.
    And what, finally, does she have planned?
    A reckoning:
    Â  1.    Nico Novtalis and Charli Vistons are to be consecrated in marriage at the Clark House Inn on June 10, 2009 (the day after tomorrow!).
    Â  2.    Chris Novtalis, Nico’s “brother,” the immoderate moderator who has caused trouble from the very start, will (shockingly!) be the best man.
    Â  3.    The day before the wedding a “family luncheon” will be held, followed by an invitation-only “bachelor/ette party” at this same Clark House Inn.
    Â  4.    The “family luncheon” and “bachelor/ette party” will feature sushi bars and many liquor “stations,” as well as (I can barely type this without vomiting) a 5 K run and a “scavenger hunt.”
    Â  5.    Chris Novtalis clearly desires to steal Charli Vistons from Nico.
    Â  6.    Chris Novtalis is both a morally bankrupt snake and weak-willed dullard who has unjustly exercised his power as moderator of the blog.
    Â  7.    We know, therefore, that Chris Novtalis desires the marriage in order to secretly and continually violate the bride’s sanctity in a fever of filth and oppression while never having to take on any of the responsibilities of a husband or community member.
    Â  8.    She will simply be in his “harem.”
    Â  9.    Chris Novtalis must be stopped!!!
    10.   Pitiable Nico will not himself be able to stop this usurpation, and so I, estranged stranger, find myself duty-bound to block the degradation in the only manner still available to me, namely, point X.
    11.   I will succeed.
    Do you doubt these facts?
    Are your sweet brains so sodden with the sentimentality of the occasion that you cannot process what sits in front of you?
    Don’t be a pack of fools!!!
    Shall we revisit the wedding blog’s comments to examine how I have seen this particular “occasion” unfolding if I am excluded from saving my Charli from irreparable taint?
    In the face of “moderation” I admit I grew more strident in my commentary, for I knew that the sands of the hourglass were thinning, that I only had so much time left to reeducate the masses, so I brought out a bit of the heavy artillery of my imagination.
    To wit:
    May 15, 2009 5:32PM
    NICO !: You’re going to pick me up from Mom’s to take me to the Clark, right?
    May 15, 2009 6:27PM
    Chris: Yep.
    May 15, 2009 6:43PM
    NICO !: Awesome. Can’t wait to see you, bro! Less than a month!
    May 16, 2009 1:17AM
    Bob_A: Community!!!!! Can’t you see what is happening?!? Can’t you see what will most certainly occur if Chris is allowed to continue? To not only attend the wedding, but chauffeur the very groom to the site?! Disaster awaits, I assure youbecause I have a gift—sometimes a curse!—and I can see events so clearly in my mind’s eye (so, so clearly) . . .
    May 16, 2009 1:25AM
    Cousin_Kevin: Your “mind’s eye” seems like it might be pretty cashed, bud. Why don’t you call it a night? Or, better yet, a life?
    May 16, 2009 1:26AM
    Bob_A: Cashed? As in, “the state of a marijuana receptacle whose contents have been thoroughly exhausted”? Not even close, you wretch! Community! Ignore this “cousin” (who is clearly a “sock puppet” of the abusive and cowardly “moderator” whose threats I have on file, rest assured)! Could a “cashed” eye see this scene play out so clearly? (Here, I’d like you to imagine me poised over my keyboard, knuckles