tyrants are all the same.
You canât stand any voice of reason intruding on your fantasies of power and domination.
Say something, Ayatollah!
I dare you!
Come into this world and see how it feels to be treated as Iâve been treated by you, like an invisible!
I exist!
I will prove it to you!
Oh you wonât be so jolly then!
I admit Iâm not one of those men who understand things immediately.
Iâm not a man who, for example, learns to speak Spanish just so he can order the proper chimichanga at the Taco Teca.
No, knowledge comes to me slowly, but I believe this âslow uptakeâ and inability to âtake the hintâ allows true knowledgeâgnosisâto eventually infiltrate my being.
It is knowledge beyond my admittedly rather pitiful striving to âunderstand.â
In NOT understanding the Spanish language, for example, I have come to a greater appreciation for Latin culture.
I have forced myself to learn how to decipher supralinguistic cultural clues in order to place my âorderâ with aplomb and style.
Weâll go someday, you and I, to the Taco Teca and I will show you.
Youâll see.
In the same way, when I tried/was forced to explain myself to my court-ordered therapist, she, with her beady eyes and piercing beak, asked, after much hemming and hawing, âDid that man touch your penis?â
I laughed.
âDid he?â
For you see, this therapist was such an idiot she needed a direct answer to a direct question, as if that would solve anything!
âOh yeah,â I said then, waving a hand dismissively, because the penis-touching was all so long ago, and I could see the therapist wanted to DEFINE me by this one act, going on and on about âtrespassâ and âincest,â and so on.
Who cares?
Couldnât she see that NOT uncovering the memory, not examining it for clues, leaving it alone in the past, made it all the more interesting?
She wanted to neutralize it!
But why?
Such âtraumasâ have made me who I am, and I long ago stopped apologizing for who I am.
I donât speak Spanish.
Deal with it.
Bring me a chimichanga!
But my case?
Letâs not be distracted by these trifles, and let us concentrate on what does indeed matter.
And what matters?
Truth, my dears; justice, unions, reunions, the coupling of man and woman, boy and girl, father and son, myself and Charli, marriage.
âMarriage,â in this case, meaning a âwhimsicalâ âevent,â developed, it seems, for mere entertainment or, worse, photo opportunities.
Beyond what we both now know to be the true nature of this wedding (a point through which Chris Novtalis will stick his own penis), it makes me sad.
Itâs as if itâs just a party thrown by the couple for their friends and family, marking no real occasion but itself.
A wedding should be a societal ceremony of some kind, not simply a drunken game with a free chicken dinner.
I have been to a similar wedding to what Charli has plannedâI have, readers, a nephew.
At his shabby nuptial event, it seemed there was a veritable ocean of twenty-five-year-olds, all dressed âfashionably,â sizing one another up, preening.
I am aware that fashion, by its very nature, calls untoward attention to its deviation from normative style, but every single article of clothing worn by these young men and women seemed to either have invisible quotation marks hovering above it or some ridiculous lighted arrow signs mocking the very idea of clothing.
Can no one under thirty simply wear a suit or a dress, get a haircut, or sport a pair of shoes without screaming, âNotice above all that I am special!â?
Donât bother answering.
The question is obviously rhetorical.
And the drinks!
I simply wanted a Michelob Ultra and was told (quite rudely) that there was only a âsignature cocktailâ made with rum, or a âshandyâ made from light beer and