The Merry Wives of Windsor

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Book: Read The Merry Wives of Windsor for Free Online
Authors: William Shakespeare
and I fear not mine own shame so much as his peril.
    I had rather than a thousand pound he were out of the
    house.
    MISTRESS PAGE     For shame, never stand 105 ‘you had rather’ and
    ‘you had rather’. Your husband’s here at hand! Bethink you
    of some conveyance 107 — in the house you cannot hide him. O,
    how have you deceived me? Look, here is a basket. If he be of
    any reasonable stature, he may creep in here, and throw foul
    linen upon him, as if it were going to bucking. Or — it is
    whiting-time 111 — send him by your two men to Datchet Mead.
    MISTRESS FORD     He’s too big to go in there. What shall I do?
    FALSTAFF     Let me see’t, let me see’t, O, let me see’t!
    Comes out of hiding
    I’ll in, I’ll in. Follow your friend’s counsel. I’ll in.
    MISTRESS PAGE     What, Sir John Falstaff? Are these
    Aside to Falstaff
    your letters, knight?
    FALSTAFF     I love thee. Help me away. Let me creep in here. I’ll
    never—
    Gets into the basket. They cover him with foul linen/To Robin
    MISTRESS PAGE     Help to cover your master, boy.—
    Call your men, Mistress Ford.— You dissembling 120
    To Falstaff
    knight!
    MISTRESS FORD     What, John! Robert! John!
    [
Exit Robin
]
    [
Enter John and Robert
]
    Go take up these clothes here quickly. Where’s the cowl - staff 123 ?
    Look, how you drumble 124 ! Carry them to the
    They attempt to fit the cowl-staff
    laundress in Datchet Mead. Quickly, come.
    [
Enter Ford, Page, Caius and Evans
]
    FORD     Pray you, come near. If I suspect without
    To Page, Caius and Evans
    cause, why then make sport at me, then let
    me be your jest, I deserve it. How now? Whither bear you
    this?
    JOHN     To the laundress, forsooth.
    MISTRESS FORD     Why, what have you to do 131 whither they bear it?
    You were best meddle with buck-washing 132 .
    FORD      Buck 133 ? I would I could wash myself of the buck!
    Buck, buck, buck! Ay, buck! I warrant you, buck — and of 134
    the season too, it shall appear.
    [
Exeunt John and Robert with the basket
]
    Gentlemen, I have dreamed tonight 136 . I’ll tell you my dream.
    Here, here, here be my keys: ascend my chambers 137 , search,
    seek, find out. I’ll warrant we’ll unkennel 138 the fox. Let me stop
    this way first. So, now uncape 139 .
    Locks the door
    PAGE     Good Master Ford, be contented 140 . You wrong yourself
    too much.
    FORD     True, Master Page. Up, gentlemen. You shall see
    sport anon. Follow me, gentlemen.
    [
Exit
]
    EVANS     This is fery fantastical humours and jealousies.
    CAIUS     By gar, ’tis no the fashion of France: it is not jealous
    in France.
    PAGE     Nay, follow him, gentlemen. See the issue of his
    search.
    [
Exeunt Page, Caius and Evans
]
    MISTRESS PAGE     Is there not a double excellency in this?
    MISTRESS FORD     I know not which pleases me better, that my
    husband is deceived, or Sir John.
    MISTRESS PAGE     What a taking 152 was he in, when your husband
    asked who was in the basket!
    MISTRESS FORD     I am half afraid he will have need of washing 154 , so
    throwing him into the water will do him a benefit.
    MISTRESS PAGE     Hang him, dishonest rascal! I would all of the
    same strain 157 were in the same distress.
    MISTRESS FORD     I think my husband hath some special suspicion
    of Falstaff’s being here, for I never saw him so gross in his
    jealousy till now.
    MISTRESS PAGE     I will lay a plot to try 161 that, and we will yet have
    more tricks with Falstaff: his dissolute disease will scarce
    obey this medicine.
    MISTRESS FORD     Shall we send that foolish carrion 164 , Mistress
    Quickly, to him, and excuse his throwing into the water, and
    give him another hope, to betray him to another punishment?
    MISTRESS PAGE     We will do it: let him be sent for tomorrow eight
    o’clock to have amends.
    [
Enter Ford, Page, Caius and Evans
]
    FORD     I cannot find him. Maybe the knave bragged of

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