Read The Martian Viking for Free Online

I was? "
    "I don't understand."
    "It was real easy to put me in the ranks of the unemployed, especially since my job doesn't officially exist. They riffed me, and here I am."
    "So soon?"
    "Yeah, they process P.A.s real fast. But at least they gave me an option. Now or six weeks from now. I figured I might as well get it over with instead of hanging around brooding about it."
    Johnsmith remained silent. His first impulse was to say well and good. Sonny had been instructed by the government to see to it that Johnsmith got drafted, and now he was in line at the Triple-S himself. There was irony for you. But for some reason, Johnsmith felt sorry for the poor guy. After all, Sonny had just been doing his job, hadn't he?
    "I'm sorry this happened, Sonny," he said.
    "My name isn't Sonny," the P.A. said. "It's Alderdice. Alderdice V. Lumumba."
    Johnsmith nodded. "Well, it's still too bad you have to be here, too."
    "I'm afraid it's been a long time coming," Alderdice admitted. "I guess I just wasn't cut out for this line of work."
    "Well, we're both in the same boat now."
    "This guy's a P.A.?" the hawkfaced woman said angrily. "Isn't it bad enough they're sending us to the moon, without having him here spying on us?"
    An angry murmuring arose from the queue.
    "He's not spying on us," Johnsmith said. "He's been drafted, just like the rest of us."
    "How do you know it's true?" the woman demanded in a shrill tone.
    "The government doesn't need him to spy on us; they're recording every sound, every move we make at this very moment." Johnsmith pointed to the camera lenses pointing toward them from every recess of the lobby.
    The line began to move more quickly, and Alderdice was forgotten as they entered a large room. The net's voice commanded them to remove their clothing.
    "All personal effects will be placed in the baskets to your right," the voice said. "They will be returned to you when you go back to civilian life."
    Which, of course, would never happen. After you spent a few years in lunar gravity, you couldn't live on Earth. Most people signed up for another hitch, resigned to spending the rest of their lives on the moon; the few who chose to come home invariably died young. Of course, bone disease was quite common on the moon, but at least you didn't have to worry quite so much about heart failure.
    There were three booths at the end of the room, and people were being ordered to step into them two at a time. Johnsmith wondered idly if he would go into one with Alderdice, or with the hawkfaced woman.
    It turned out to be the woman, who actually looked pretty good naked.
    "Burst, Felicia," the voice said as they entered the cubicle. "Accused of treason against the Conglomerated United Nations of Earth, how do you plead?"
    "Not guilty," Felicia Burst said.
    Disinfectant sprayed over her, and as she choked the voice announced: "Your plea has been considered, but the evidence weighs against you. According to Conglomerated United Nations of Earth Criminal Court Resolution 1331-D, you are guilty as charged of crimes against all the nations of Earth."
    Tears were streaming down Felicia's thin cheeks, but not as a result of fear. The spray and her rage combined as she shrieked. "Down with the Conglom! Up with the people!"
    Her revolutionary cries were drowned out by huge whirling buffers, that both scrubbed her and pushed her along to the next step in Triple-S processing.
    "Biberkopf, Johnsmith," the voice said as soon as she was out of sight, "you are accused of the crime of unemployment. How do you plead?"
    "No contest," Johnsmith said, hearing Felicia shouting angrily in the distance.
    "Would you care to elaborate?" the voice asked in its cultured, yet forceful, British accent.
    Johnsmith thought it over. "No, I guess not," he said after a few seconds. "I guess I'll just change my plea to guilty and save my breath."
    He was enveloped in a hissing spray of disinfectant. As he gagged, he heard Olivier's voice, speaking for all the nations