the living room.
“Where the hell do you think you’re going, boy?” he screams the words at my back. “You get back here when I’m talking to you!”
I turn and walk backward toward the stairs, shrugging carelessly even though I’m trembling all over. “I just realized that I don’t have to just stand here and take all this shit from you. I’m leaving. I don’t have to sit by and be your punching bag anymore, just because you’re mad at the world and how you let it screw you over.”
I turn and pound up the stairs, blocking out whatever else my dad is shouting at me. Blindly, I grab a duffle bag and throw in whatever clothes I first lay hands on, stuffing my backpack with anything else I may need. I’m too angry to think straight and I know what I’ve grabbed is patchy and incomplete, but I don’t care. I can sneak back while my dad is at work one day.
The last thing I grab is my sketchbook and bag of art supplies, forcing it into my backpack so it sticks out oddly. I let it, throwing the bag over my shoulders and grabbing the duffle bag. Then I head back down the stairs.
Dad is waiting for me, trembling with fury just as I am. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?”
I stare at him, unable to understand any of it. Why he acts the way he does, how he treats me, how he treated Cindy. Is he just suffering from grief, lashing out because it’s all he understands? I should to try and understand, be patient, just try . Something, anything.
But I can’t. Not right now. He’s always known exactly how to push my buttons, just as I do with him.
And at this particular moment, we’ve both pushed too many. Now is not the time. I don’t know if it will ever be the right time, but it’s certainly not now. Especially since the next words out of my mouth are, “Like you care. You’ve always wanted me to leave. You’d have left me to rot in juvie a long time ago if you had your way.”
He raises a trembling hand, pointing toward the front door. “Get out of my house.” He says it flatly, no emotion or conflict whatsoever.
I push past him, muttering, “Whatever you say, Dad .”
I leave the house and the door slams shut behind me, so hard it shakes the building. The noise hits me two-fold as it echoes across the street and rebounds like a slap in the face.
I’d always figured my dad would kick me out eventually, that it was just a matter of time until it actually happened. But with my eighteenth birthday only five months away, I’d figured I would be able to escape that particular fate. How wrong I was.
It doesn’t matter now. What’s done is done. I know of only one place I can go and not feel like I’m intruding, even if it is a bit of a hike. I’d feel bad imposing on Koby or Dominic for an extended period of time, even if I know Koby’s mom wouldn’t mind.
Spacious house though she has, it feels wrong to dump all my problems on Evie’s doorstep too. Besides, living at your girlfriend’s house smacks of Teen Mom. And we don’t need to add yet more fuel to the fire going on at school.
Evie.
My heart gives a pang and in that moment I want nothing more than to talk to her. To tell her what happened. I push away the urge, telling myself to wait. To wait until I’ve had a chance to draw, to calm down. And am safely at another house so she doesn’t tell me to come to hers.
My fists clench as I push away the urge. I’m not even sure why I’m denying it. Evie will understand. She always does. But for some reason, I’m holding back on calling her right away.
A small thought, the barest whisper of an idea comes to mind but I ignore it. Instead, barely even thinking about what I’m doing, I detour into a gas station as I pass it and buy myself a pack of cigarettes.
Just one , I promise myself. Just one to relax, for old times sake. And then I’ll throw the pack out.
I end up smoking two and would have done a third if I hadn’t arrived at the apartment complex, faster than