by actual flesh. Our bodies are merging. The sight of it sends him into a panic. He draws away and manages to yank a hand free. But I hold on tightly and catch him around the base of his neck. He grinds his teeth, fighting to pull away, but I can feel his strength fueling my grip.
“What are you doing?” he screams.
“Helping,” I say, pulling his head toward mine.
“Helping!?” His eyes dart up to our merged hands. There is only one hand now. Our hand. I understand his fear. I’m absorbing him. In a sense, I’m killing him the way he was just trying to kill me.
“Ull! Listen to me!” When his eyes meet mine, I instill my voice with the kind of affection my mother once used when I was hurt. “We can’t fight each other anymore. Ninnis divided us. But we are not separate. We aren’t Solomon and Ull. We are Solomon Ull Vincent.”
The use of our last name takes the fight out of him some. “We need each other. We’re weaker without each other.”
He stiffens and is about to argue.
“We are incomplete,” I say. “Intellect without emotion lacks power. Emotion without intellect lacks direction. We need to accept each other. We…need to be I .”
His resistance fades, but I don’t think this should be forced. We have been separated for a long time now and like submitting to the will of Nephil, I think this merger has to be a willing one. This needs to last.
“There are people depending on us,” I say. “Em and Luca.” There’s a reaction, but it’s not strong. Those relationships were formed when his personality was suppressed. “Mom and Dad,” I say. He trembles with emotion. “And Aimee.”
The memory of my birth fills my mind. Aimee holds me in her arms. Her smiling face is all I can see. I hear her voice, “You are a precious boy.” They are some of the most powerful words ever spoken to me. I repeat them, speaking to Ull. “You are a precious boy.”
We cry together, sharing our burdens, and in each other, we find uncommon strength. I feel Ull’s forehead touch mine. His free hand wraps around my neck.
As one, we pull.
6
When I open my eyes, Ull is gone. It’s just me, the gorge and the lake of burning fluid. I’m alone. No , I think, Ull is here .
I am Ull.
Solomon Ull Vincent.
I’m complete. Whole.
I look down and find my strong body returned. The stubble on my face tickles my hand as I rub it. The burden of my past failures still weighs upon me. But the burden is shared now. And bearable, despite being locked in Tartarus. In fact, in some ways I feel better than I have in a long time. There is no conflict in my thoughts. Only unity.
And apparently, that is against the rules.
The horn blast is deep and resonates through the land so powerfully that pebbles dance along the ground. The rumbling, monotone horn drones on for five seconds, shaking my body, and then stops. I can’t be certain, but I suspect the horn is an alarm. That it sounds just moments after I’ve found a way to resist the power of this place is a little too coincidental for my taste.
The tower , I think. Whatever controls Tartarus must be there. This is a jail, after all. Someone must be in charge. Without any kind of debate or internal argument, the decision is made, and I set out at a run in the direction I last saw the tower. The ease with which I make up my mind brings a smile to my face. Split personalities are no fun.
The journey goes swiftly. The landscape is barren and inhospitable, but also easy to navigate. The footing is firm and free of any real obstacles. The only hindrances are the valleys, which twist and turn in unpredictable directions. After having to backtrack several miles, I’ve begun avoiding them altogether. At first, I stayed in the low lands as much as possible. After all, an alarm only sounds when there is a force that will respond to it. But I haven’t seen another living thing in hours. Or days. Who knows? I no longer let the timelessness of Tartarus