The Last Days of Louisiana Red

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Book: Read The Last Days of Louisiana Red for Free Online
Authors: Ishmael Reed
George Kingfish Stevens and Andy Brown are talking loudly, much to the occasional annoyance of their fellow customers. Andy Brown is a large, heavy man. He is the consummate Brother Bear of Disney’s film version of Joel Chandler Harris’ Uncle Remus stories. He wears a process, derby, platform heels, fur cape. He is the kind of man who would refer to his automobile as a “hog.” George Kingfish Stevens is short, slight and wears “hippie pimp” attire; lots of leather. He wears a “cornrow” hairstyle.)
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    Kingfish Stevens: Did you see that ’38 Oldsmobile that just went by? Look like Hitler driving to the Russian front. Man, that Wolf Yellings is quite a fella, quite a fella.
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    Brown: Aw, Kingfish, that man is a square. Is a cube. He ain’t in the Moochers like you and I is. Minnie’s Moochers. Plus I hears the nigger is running some kind of bizness. Colored folks ain’t cut out for no bizness.
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    Kingfish: Very well put, Bro. Andy, very well put. A man like that is dangerous, prespicacous. MMMM. We is going to have to keep an eye on niggers like that.
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    Brown: Yeah. He and his sister is two different people.
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    Kingfish: Not to mention Street. Remember the time we use to go up on Telegraph Avenue and watch the bitches go in and out of Robbie’s? Every time the weekend roll around, people were wondering who Street gon cut.
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    Brown: Yeah, Kingfish, we use to go to Steppenwolf’s and dance all night. Now they plays dat old funny white music in there. I goes to sleep.
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    Kingfish: Buzzart?
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    Brown: What’s that, Kingfish?
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    Kingfish: Buzzart, that’s one of the men they be playing. Boy, that Buzzart be chopping and sawing away. Whew. (Pause)
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    Kingfish: Bro. Brown, let me borry some beer outta your pitcher. Share and share alike is what we Moochers say. (Pours himself a drink)
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    Brown: Help yo self, Kingfish, share and share alike as the Moochers say, but sometime I wonder, Kingfish; look like I’m doing all the sharin.
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    Kingfish: Don’t worry, Bro. Brown, I will buy the next round.
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    Brown: Why, Fish, you told me you didn’t have no money. Where’d you get the money?
    (Kingfish beckons Brown to lean over; he whispers)
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    Kingfish: I collectivized d tip on the next table the people left for the bartender. How’s you like that for Mooching? Pretty clever, don’t you think?
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    Brown: Why, Kingfish, you is a genius. You and me is the only genius to emerge from the 1950s.
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    Kingfish: Excuse me, Brother Brown, let me go up here and get me a pitcher of beer. I seez they handin out some delectable supplications too. You want some weenies, Bro. Brown? (Midway to the bar he notices a girl walking by outside. She is wearing a terse skirt. You can see her Burger and he takes off through the door. A moment later he comes back inside.)
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    Kingfish: (excitedly) Bro. Brown, did you see that? That woman throw one of them ol legs round your waist and would asphyxiate your hips, I’ll betcha. (He asks the bartender, Elder, for a pitcher of beer. Elder draws a pitcher and puts it on top of the bar.)
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    Kingfish: (frowning, examines the pitcher) Where’s de foam?
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    Elder: For 99 cents you need all the beer you can get.
    (People at the bar laugh. Kingfish sneers at Elder, returns to where Brown is sitting.)
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    Brown: What was that all about, Kingfish?
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    Kingfish: Aw, that nigger is trying to be cute. Bushwa. Why, over at de Trident in Sausalito, they got plenty of foam.
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    Brown: Well, you know what I always says, Kingfish.
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    Kingfish: What’s that, Brown?
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    Brown: Niggers can’t do nothing right; not a damn thing. (Pause)
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    Kingfish: Yeh, that Street was something. Over there in one of them African countries. Remember that night he killed that nigger?
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    Brown: Which nigger, Fish?
    Â 
    Kingfish: That last nigger he kill that

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