thinking about it: terrible poetry, if not a prophecy exactly. But the meaning was plain: better to be a dog-purse than a âfraidy cat.
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Four
Family Feud
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M Y DAD WAS HOME when I got up next morning. He sat at the kitchen table wrapped in his old bathrobe and looking saggy-faced and gray around the eyes, with a script spread out in front of him. He pushed the pages with their wide-spaced, narrow columns of type aside when I came in. Amazing that they paid him all that money for such small amounts of writing.
âHey, Amy,â he said. âSleep okay?â
âFine, Dad,â I said. âHow was L.A.?â
He wrinkled his nose. âFoul. We wouldnât be going there if the income wasnât spectacular.â
I sat down across from him with a bowl of cereal. âDid you find us a place to live?â
What a relief when he answered, âNot yet, still looking. Iâve got my eye on a couple of possibilities, though. I brought some picturesââ
I didnât want to see any pictures. âWhereâs Mom?â
âGone to Shellâs apartment with your aunt Jennie,â he said, sighing. âThereâs lots to do over there, and pretty soon people will be coming around to sit shiva today.â
âSomebody could have got me up to go with them,â I said. All of a sudden I felt like crying.
âHey, Nougat,â he said, reaching over to give my arm a pat. âLet them have some time alone at Shellyâs place. I know you have private memories of your own about Shell, right? Well, your mom has hers to sort through, too.â
Worse and worse, though he meant well. Still, it felt really good to have him home. I blew my nose into my napkin.
âHow long before you have to go back?â I asked.
Another huge sigh. âIâm not sure yet. Thereâs a story conference early next week,â he said. âItâs great to be wanted, but why now? â
I said, âDid you tell them about Shell?â
âSure I told them. But they work under deadlines that do not move at the whim of a mere writer. And believe me, in Hollywood, thereâs nobody merer.â
He hadnât shaved yet and looked, I thought, just a little bit like Humphrey Bogart. Cousin Shell had idolized Humphrey Bogart, and I had seen all of his ancient movies on her VCR.
âI think you should stay here, and tell them to go jump,â I muttered around a mouthful of cereal.
âI could,â he said, nodding, but I knew by his tone that he wouldnât. âBut then thereâs a good chance my sweetheart of a daughter, the apple of my eye and the peg oâ my heart, wouldnât be able to go to a decent college.â
âIâll work my way through college,â I said.
âAs what, a heart surgeon? Tuitions everywhere are sky high and climbing, and the California state system is in trouble.â
âWho says I have to go to college?â I said.
There was a pregnant pause. Dad chewed on the pencil heâd been using to mark his script. Then he said, âYour choice, of course, Bunnyhunch. But you know, donât you, that Shelly particularly wanted you to go? Sheâs left you some money, rumor has it, to help with your college expenses.â
Now I did cry. Shelly had loved to travel on her vacation time, as much as she could on her not-tremendous income. Imagine her putting aside some of her funds for me, cutting days off her one-time visit to Mazatlan, or her Maine Coast cruise to study plant life in the tide pools!
âHey, hey,â Dad said soothingly. âThatâs what I hear, anyway. First thereâs some Sturm and Drang to get through, so Iâm not counting your chickens and you shouldnât, either. It seems that Aunt Diane has some kind of claim on the estateââ
âDiane?â I said. âThey couldnât stand each other! Shelly always