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demmed thing called society? Would you introduce her to your wife? No use beating about the confounded bush. Would you do that?
    L ORD W INDERMERE . Mrs. Erlynne is coming here to-night.
    L ORD A UGUSTUS . Your wife has sent her a card?
    L ORD W INDERMERE . Mrs. Erlynne has received a card.
    L ORD A UGUSTUS . Then she’s all right, dear boy. But why didn’t you tell me that before. It would have saved me a heap of worry and demmed misunderstandings!
    (Lady Agatha and Mr. Hopper cross and exit on terrace L.U.E.)
    P ARKER . Mr. Cecil Graham!
    (Enter Mr. Cecil Graham.)
    C ECIL G RAHAM .
(Bows to Lady Windermere, passes over and shakes hands with Lord Windermere.)
Good evening, Arthur. Why don’t you ask me how I am? I like people to ask me how I am. It shows a widespread interest in my health. Now, to-night I am not at all well. Been dining with my people. Wonder why it is one’s people are always so tedious? My father would talk morality after dinner. I told him he was old enough to know better. But my experience is that as soon as people are old enough to know better, they don’t know anything at all. Hullo, Tuppy! Hear you’re going to be married again; thought you were tired of that game.
    L ORD A UGUSTUS . You’re excessively trivial, my dear boy, excessively trivial!
    C ECIL G RAHAM . By the way, Tuppy, which is it? Have you been twice married and once divorced, or twice divorced and once married? I say you’ve been twice divorced and once married. It seems so much more probable.
    L ORD A UGUSTUS . I have a very bad memory. I really don’t remember which.
(Moves away R.)
    L ADY P LYMDALE . Lord Windermere, I’ve something most particular to ask you.
    L ORD W INDERMERE . I am afraid—if you will excuse me—I must join my wife.
    L ADY P LYMDALE . Oh, you mustn’t dream of such a thing. It’s most dangerous now-a-days for a husband to pay any attention to his wife in public. It always makes people think that he beats her when they’re alone. The world has grown so suspicious of anything that looks like a happy married life. But I’ll tell you what it is at supper.
(Moves towards door of ball-room.)
    L ORD W INDERMERE .
(C.)
Margaret! I
must
speak to you.
    L ADY W INDERMERE . Will you hold my fan for me, Lord Darlington? Thanks.
(Comes down to him.)
    L ORD W INDERMERE .
(Crossing to her.)
Margaret, what you said before dinner was, of course, impossible?
    L ADY W INDERMERE . That woman is not coming here to-night!
    L ORD W INDERMERE .
(R.C.)
Mrs. Erlynne is coming here, and if you in any way annoy or wound her, you will bring shame and sorrow on us both. Remember that! Ah, Margaret! only trust me! A wife should trust her husband!
    L ADY W INDERMERE .
(C.)
London is full of women who trust their husbands. One can always recognise them. They look so thoroughly unhappy. I am not going to be one of them.
(Moves up.)
Lord Darlington, will you give me back my fan, please? Thanks…. A useful thing a fan, isn’t it?… I want a friend tonight, Lord Darlington: I didn’t know I would want one so soon.
    L ORD D ARLINGTON . Lady Windermere! I knew the time would come some day; but why to-night?
    L ORD W INDERMERE . I
will
tell her. I must. It would be terrible if there were any scene. Margaret …
    P ARKER . Mrs. Erlynne!
    (Lord Windermere starts. Mrs. Erlynne enters, very beautifully dressed and very dignified. Lady Windermere clutches at her fan, then lets it drop on the floor. She bows coldly to Mrs. Erlynne, who bows to her sweetly in turn, and sails into the room.)
    L ORD D ARLINGTON . You have dropped your fan, Lady Windermere.
(Picks it up and hands it to her.)
    M RS . E RLYNNE .
(C.)
How do you do, again, Lord Windermere? How charming your sweet wife looks! Quite a picture!
    L ORD W INDERMERE .
(In a low voice.)
It was terribly rash of you to come!
    M RS . E RLYNNE .
(Smiling.)
The wisest thing I ever did in my life. And, by the way, you must pay me a good deal of attention this evening. I am afraid of the women.