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even when the light turned red. Probably imagining thoughts of Alvin laid out on a bed of blue satin with a wilted lily in his cold, dead paw.
    â€œLet me give him a call.” I kept the phone out of Merv's reach.

Five
    I m sorry, Ms. Camilla MacPhee is not available at the moment, please leave a message after the long snore.”
    â€œMost humorous, Alvin.” I could afford to be snarly, since he was not dead.
    â€œI thought you were one of your sisters. Don't they have lives?”
    â€œDon't go there.”
    â€œThey've all called. Some twice. You need to set them straight.”
    â€œI'll set them straight after I practice on you.”
    â€œOh, he's alive?” Merv said. “Too bad. Any chance he's been tied up by Benning and is about to be dumped off the Interprovincial Bridge into the frigid but open waters?”
    â€œI'm sure he would have mentioned it. No, not you, Alvin. Merv inquired about your wellbeing. Tell me, any sign of Benning?”
    Alvin said, “I'm not a hundred per cent sure it's him, but there's this red Taurus. I can't shake it.”
    â€œWho's driving?”
    â€œCan't tell.”
    â€œIt's not close enough?”
    â€œHe's riding on my bumper. But the windows are fogged.”
    â€œTry and see if it's Benning.”
    â€œI told you, I can't see through the windows.”
    â€œFine. What about the licence plate?”
    â€œHaven't been able to catch it so far. A big chunk of snow is plastered over it. But here he comes again.”
    â€œWhere are you?”
    â€œOn Sussex. I'd better turn around. Don't want to end up on the Eastern Parkway.”
    â€œNo, you don't. Alvin? What's that screeching sound? Did my car make that noise? Alvin! Answer me.”
    â€œHey, Camilla, keep your shorts on. Just a one-eighty.”
    â€œDon't you do one-eighties in my new Civic.”
    â€œLord thundering Jesus!”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œHoly crap.”
    â€œWhat happened?”
    â€œHe turned too.”
    At this point I felt the hot blast of Merv's breath on my ear. “I'm happy I can reserve a portion of my communications budget for you to give driving instructions to earring boy, Camilla. Make sure you get the story of his life,” Merv said.
    â€œMight not be a long story. This is serious.”
    â€œNo shit,” Alvin said. “Here he comes. He's gunning it.”
    I yelled. “Floor it to 24 Sussex and drive up to the gates. They have enough Mounties for a musical ride. Do you hear me?” Nothing. “Alvin?” More nothing. Followed by a crash and the sound of tearing metal. Then ragged breathing. “Alvin?” I turned to Merv. “Benning's caught him.”
    â€œCamilla?” A squeak on the receiver.
    â€œYes!”
    â€œYou were right. When the security guys ran out, he took off.”
    â€œGreat. Then?”
    â€œAnd guess what? I got a partial of the licence plate.”
    â€œExcellent. What is it?” I turned to Merv. “He caught some of the licence.”
    To do Merv credit, he pulled out a notebook and a pen.
    â€œOkay, Alvin, shoot.” I strained to hear. Muffled voices buzzed on the line. Then Alvin squawked like he was having his feathers plucked.
    â€œHey wait,” he said. “I don't want to get out of the vehicle. Listen. You can put the guns away. I was being chased by that guy, Benning, the one who just escaped. Don't you guys listen to the radio?”
    â€œAlvin's experienced first hand the high level of security at the PM's residence. Those are your boys, aren't they, Merv?”
    â€œYes, indeedy. And they will check out Mr. Ponytail dressed in women's clothes, driving a vehicle registered to someone else, and then he'll try to give them his usual level of mouth.” Merv chuckled.
    While I have no problem with Alvin as the butt of a joke, I didn't want to go to the hoosegow and bail out the boy again. It wouldn't be the first time he'd had his