Read The Heart for Free Online

can get out of bed, Rose.”

    The first time I’d ever been kissed was in fourth grade. His name was Jason Hammond. We had dropped pencils under our desk in an attempt to steal a kiss, in hopes of recreating the same kiss I’d seen the night before, but it lacked every single detail and emotion that had made me suddenly curious about the act of kissing. No matter how many times I’d pressed my lips to his under that desk, it didn’t feel anything like what I’d felt seeing my parents do it the night before.
    It had been an accident, really. Long after they assumed I’d gone to sleep, I snuck downstairs, determined to devour the last two Twinkies I’d been denied after dinner. When I heard them whispering back and forth in the living room, I froze.
    The lights were dim as they stood in each other’s arms in front of a roaring fireplace. I made a beeline for the pantry and grabbed the box. Much to my dismay, I found it empty. Rolling my eyes with defeat, I begin to creep back toward the stairs when I glanced at them and stood paralyzed at the sight before me.
    “Love me, Seth,” my mother whispered as he stared down at her with a look that made my heart ache. I was surprised by how much it hurt. I gripped my chest as my father continued to gaze at her with a look of pure devotion on his face as she asked him over and over to love her. He held her face close to his and whispered something to her. She nodded as a tear slid down her cheek. He caught it with his thumb. With a gentle finger, he pushed the strap of her nightgown to the side, leaving her shoulder bare. He kissed it slowly with his eyes closed and she tilted her neck back. I knew I should’ve left then, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away. My mother never begged for anything. I’d never heard that type of desperation in her voice, and she’d never looked so... beautiful. He leaned in and took her lips gently. It was all I could do to keep from matching my mother’s sigh as she clung to him and returned his kiss. I clamped my hands over my mouth, though I was barely breathing. When he’d pulled his lips away, he kept his hands on her face and whispered words to her that made her smile. Awareness that I was not supposed to be there raced through me, and I snapped out of my wistful daze, ran up the stairs, and shut my door carefully so there was no way they could hear it. My breaths came out fast as fear crept through me. For a second, I was terrified they may have seen me and I wouldn’t be able to explain myself. When I was sure my secret remained safe, I slumped against the door as my heart pounded and my curiosity soared.
    I would never forget the way they looked at each other or the way she’d said his name as if he was the only man in the world who could save her. All I did know was that I loved the exhilaration that danced through me as I bared witness to it. It was the best I’d ever felt, a new craving.
    The next day, I’d done everything I could to get Jason to kiss me the same way. At only ten years old, I was chasing that feeling. Frustrated after several attempts, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get it back.
    I didn’t realize it then, or even until years later, but that was the night the romantic version of myself was born. A strong and powerful kiss between my parents had awakened the believer in me. I’d spent my early years convinced when I found the person that kissed me like that, I could own that feeling, and with each kiss, I would be able to summon it at will. Lying in my bed almost twenty years later, I knew the rarity of such a gift. That ten-year-old girl had been naïve, but she’d also been right. There were people out there capable of making you feel that way with a kiss, of summoning it with a look. It had never been the act of kissing but the connection between two people that caused such powerful emotion. It didn’t take much to figure that out, and once I had, my search began.
    That young romantic grew older