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believed that if God's anointing could remain on David after he had an affair with Bethsheba, or on Solomon despite his hundreds of pagan wives, then Hill too should remain their spiritual leader.  Sadly, my mother was one of those followers.  Her calculation was that it was better to abandon her family and follow this man of God than to risk Hell's lake of fire.  So she left."
    "That must have been an awfu l time for you and your family," said Mario earnestly.
    "It was, " added Porter.  "My journey into the dark began then."
    "And that is why you pursue abuser s?" asked Mario, his face showing confusion.  "That was certainly an awful event for you, but it seems unlikely to be your motivation to eliminate others."
    "No, you're right Mario ," said Porter.  "That by itself didn't do it.  It just dug the foundation.  It took another event to complete the home."
    "Porter ," started Mario, "you do not have to continue."
    "No, I'm ok with it ," said Porter without emotion.  "So much of my life is hidden, it feels good to be honest and transparent about why I do what I do."
    "Then get on with it ," said Mario, with eagerness in his voice. 
    " All right, so a few weeks after Hill and Mom split, one of the associate pastors was meeting with me and my sister Jennifer for counseling.  And Jenny was only 12 at the time."  Porter stopped as the emotion he had suppressed for years now welled up inside of him, causing his lips to tremble and throat to dry. 
    Forci ng the emotion back down, he continued.  "The pastor's name was James Holland and he really wasn't a counselor, more of a community outreach guy.  But because so many in the church were affected by Hill's departure, all those on the church staff were asked to meet with whoever needed help."
    "He ask ed to meet with me first but I didn't have much to say.  I was just going there 'cause my grandmother wanted me to go along with Jenny.  Our discussion ended in about five minutes and then it was Jenny's turn.  It was about dinner time, so I told them I was going up the road to the diner to get a quick bite and would be back in about 30 minutes."  Porter paused and held up his hand to halt what he knew was Mario's next question.  "And before you ask, yes, I was only 14. But remember, it was West Virginia.  I'd been on a tractor since I could reach the pedals and neither Dad nor the sheriff had any problem with me driving through town."
    Mario smiled, "You read my mind."
    "I'm good at that ," Porter said with a smile.  "So, when I walked outside, no one else was in the church; just Holland and Jenny.  I can't say I had a bad feeling about that as I left the building, but when I got to the truck, I just couldn't turn it on.  Something told me to go back in, but I ignored it.  At most it was two minutes before I listened to my conscience and headed back in.
    As I w alked down the hall towards Holland's office, I heard sounds of panic.  Like someone was rattling a door handle trying to get it open, but it wouldn't.  And then I heard muffled sounds like screaming behind a wall.  When I got to his office, I saw the handle moving but the door stayed shut."
    " It was dead bolted," Mario said solemnly.
    "It was ," answered Porter, a bit surprised at Mario's guess.  "I went to grab the handle and that's when I heard him say,  'You little bitch!  Get over here!'.  And I froze.  I heard Holland grab Jenny and then he must have forced her down, all the while barking, 'Shut up' and, 'I'll kill you'.  She was muzzled somehow 'cause I could hear her screaming, but it was very faint.  It wasn't until he said, 'Shut your fucking mouth or I'll do the same to your brother' that she went quiet.  For the next 15 minutes I stood catatonic in front of his door.  There was not another sound made except for that of Holland and his vile, aggressive grunts."
    Desperate to end this confession, Porter said , "I waited in the truck for her to come out of the church.  When she