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without feeling like he has to perform with it, and how her vulva and breasts can be pushing against him while she dozes off.
    Naked Logistics
    If it feels like your relationship is ready, you might consider planning a time and place where the two of you can work on getting naked. Some couples enjoy undressing each other, while others make a game out of taking their clothes off, from playing strip poker to lighthearted wrestling. There are occasions where one partner blindfolds the other before undressing him or her.
    Getting naked happens naturally if you shower together or go skinny-dipping. Sometimes it happens when you are hot-tubbing, and some couples enjoy undressing each other while dancing. If you try this, be sure to have birth control handy in case you suddenly find yourselves doing the polka.



Occasionally, people find it helpful to tell each other some of the things that they do and don’t like about their bodies. For the first six editions of The Guide , women would mostly worry about their butts being too big or their breasts being too small or mismatched. But with the seventh edition, some women are also worried about their labia not being porn perfect. Some guys worry they aren’t hung well enough, or they might be hung too well, or that their penis might bend the wrong way when it gets hard. Just getting your fears out in the open will usually help you feel more comfortable.
    For couples who are particularly self-conscious, writer Jay Wiseman suggests getting naked in total darkness. Each partner then takes a turn examining the body of the other with a small flashlight—one of those little penlight things that excites just enough photons to light up an area the size of your thumbnail. This can be a fun game that taps into your fantasies and helps decrease the anxiety of being seen naked all at once. Another way for the shy to share their nakedness is by getting a fun top or T-shirt to wear with nothing on underneath. Or maybe you’d like to try a pair of silk boxers.
    Guys Worry: Wood Good, Wood Bad?
    When it comes to getting naked, men sometimes worry whether they should or shouldn’t have a hard-on. It doesn’t matter. It’s fine if you have one, it’s fine if you don’t. The point is learning to associate nakedness with something other than just sex or taking a shower.
    Some people don’t have the slightest hesitation to get naked for sex, but if it’s getting naked just to talk or hold each other, good luck. They sometimes become fidgety and fire off a rapidly dismissive, “Sure, we’ll have to try that sometime....” Perhaps that kind of nakedness feels too intimate.
    Naked & Getting Off
    While getting naked together doesn’t need to include orgasms, some couples find it uplifting to have one or two somewhere along the way. So plan your naked time to include lots of holding and touching, try an orgasm or two, and then even more holding and touching afterward. (One reader comments, “Good luck on this one. I’ve spent a lot of lonely time while my partner sleeps immediately after orgasm.”)
    Coming is usually the last thing that couples do when they are having sex. Yet it might be nice to spend extra time holding and touching each other after you have orgasms. Coming clears the senses in a way that allows many of us to share a special kind of warmth and tenderness.
    Sex Tips with a Cranky Marxist Edge
    We’ve now put designer labels on our near-nakedness, with the belief that the name of a high-priced fashion designer or tennis-shoe manufacturer on our underwear will make us more attractive. This type of philosophy has helped fuel the multimillion-dollar lingerie business, which has made a handsome profit selling flimsy wisps of underwear to women under the name of lingerie. Now manufacturers are gouging men with similar intent, charging $10 to $20 for a pair of men’s briefs that could otherwise be bought at Walmart for $2.50.
    Counterpoint: “I have read portions of The Guide out