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of the Dark Ages
    From the Roman invasion of 55 BC until approximately AD 900 the first names, let alone nicknames, of kings of Britain are more often matters of conjecture and legend than fact. Some names and nicknames can be found in Geoffrey of Monmouth’s History of the Kings of Britain , although this too is thought to be as much the stuff of legend as actual history. Geoffrey’s work was completed in 1136 and, among other things, provided the basis for the stories of King Arthur. Below is a list of those kings from this period that were accorded nicknames.
    The Earliest Kings
    Beli the Great
    Lucius the Great
    Macsen the Leader
    Coel the Old (better known as Old King Cole)
    Gurgust the Ragged
    Northern Britain
    Bran the Old
    Morcant Lightning
    Merchiaun the Lean
    Eleuther the Handsome
    Dunaut the Stout
    Mynyddog the Rich
    South-west Wales
    Tryffon the Bearded
    Aircol Longhand
    North-west Wales
    Cadwallon Longhand
    Maelgwyn the Tall
    Rhun the Tall
    Idwal the Roebuck
    North-east Wales
    Brochfael of the Tusks
    Cynan the Cruel
    Cyndrwyn the Stubborn
    Minor Kingdoms of Wales
    Rhun Red Eyes
    Gwrin of the Ragged Beard
    Glitnoth Longshanks
    Gwrgan the Great
    South-west Scotland
    Dumnagual the Old
    Rhydderch the Old
    West Scotland
    Fergus the Great
    Eochaid the Yellow-Haired
    Domnall the Pock-Marked
    Ferchar the Long
    Eochaid Crooked-Nose
    Aed the Fair
    Eochaid the Poisonous
    East Saxons
    Sigebert the Little
    Sigebert the Good
    It appears that Mercians, Northumbrians and West Saxons, until Alfred the GREAT , were not interested in nicknames.
      The Bread-Soup King see Louis the KING OF SLOPS
    Haakon the Broad-Shouldered
    Haakon II, king of Norway, c.1147–62
    Much was placed on the small but broad shoulders of Haakon when he was elected king of Norway at the tender age often. His main concern was the claim of ‘Inge the Hunchback’ to the throne, but that fell away in 1161 when Inge died after losing his temper. His death occurred when he and his men were ranged against Haakon’s across an ice-covered river. Incensed by accusations of cowardice, Inge’s champion, one Gregorius Dagsson, raced forward, fell through the ice and was slaughtered as he tried to clamber back up. In a rush of blood to the head, Inge furiously hurtled towards the enemy and was also killed. Haakon’s relief was short-lived, however. Another pretender, Magnus Erlingsson, defeated and killed him in battle the next year. Haakon was fifteen years old.
    Ptolemy the Brother-Loving see PTOLEMAIC KINGS
    Robert the Bruce
    Robert I, king of Scotland, 1274–1329
    Allegedly inspired by the determination of a spider that he saw in a cave while gloomily assessing his military fortune, Robert won a famous victory against the English in 1314 at the battle of Bannockburn. The origins of his epithet ‘the Bruce’ are regrettably less colourful. Originally thought to be of Flemish extraction,his ancestors settled in Brus, near Cherbourg, in Normandy. One of these forebears, also called Robert, came over to England in the early eleventh century and served as right-hand man to Prince David, later King David ‘the Saint’, during his stay at the court of Henry BEAUCLERC ( see NOBLE PROFESSIONS ). For obvious reasons he was known as ‘Robert de Brus’, and the name of his descendants was anglicized to ‘the Bruce’.
    David the Builder see Noble PROFESSIONS
    Bungy Louis see Louis the KING OF SLOPS
    Leo the Butcher see NOBLE PROFESSIONS
    George the Button-Maker see FARMER GEORGE

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    Edward the Caresser
    Edward VII, king of England, 1841–1910
    In an allusion to his ancestral namesake Edward the CONFESSOR , Edward VII was dubbed ‘the Caresser’ for his womanizing ways. His parents, Victoria the WIDOW OF WINDSOR and Albert the GOOD , were determined to prevent him from becoming wayward or profligate like so many of his relatives, and so must have been very disappointed with both their son and his epithet. Britain, on the other hand, thought he was rather