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conversation is so
inapproprié
.” She spread her hands, indicating the surroundings.
    â€œSorry, Ms. Simpson. The doc and I have a few areas of disagreement.”
    â€œMore than a few,” Seth added in a low voice.
    â€œDon’t think I didn’t hear that.” Mort turned his back to Seth and addressed Eve. “Who owns your haunted house now?”
    â€œThe lawyer said it may take a little while to settle the estate, but it’ll probably be Elliot Cooper until the house is sold. He’s been living in Alaska, but he’s coming home for the funeral.”
    â€œIf he ever gets here,” Seth put in. “I understand he’s coming by motorcycle. Doesn’t he know that airplanes fly to other places than the wilds of Alaska?”
    â€œAre you sure Elliot won’t change his mind and want to keep the house?” Mort asked.
    â€œIt’s much too big for one person,” Eve said.
    â€œOnly one person lived there for more than thirty years,” I reminded her.
    â€œTrue, but Cliff wanted the house sold. He made that point to both you and me, Jessica. He even had you write it in his will. And he wanted
me
to have the listing. He said I was the perfect person to sell it. I happen to agree, although I think he was just flattering me. It’s a veritable nightmare, that house, and he knew it. There’s no way Elliot can manage a place that large. Frankly, I think he’ll want to take the money and go back to Alaska as fast as he can.”
    â€œIsn’t he the boy who had a crush on the Conrad twins’ great-niece?” Seth asked.
    â€œThat’s the one,” I said.
    Mort looked at me and squinted. “The Conrad twins, those elderly ladies who live in that little cottage across the way from Cliff Cooper’s place?”
    â€œYes.”
    â€œI’ve seen them around town but don’t think I ever met them. And I know I never met this Elliot guy.”
    â€œThere’s no reason why you’d have met Lettie and Lucy Conrad,” Seth said, “unless they decided to become a live version of
Arsenic and Old Lace
and kill somebody.”
    â€œElliot Cooper is Cliff’s grandson,” I said, “but Cliff actually brought up the boy.”
    â€œWhat happened to Elliot’s parents?” Mort asked.
    Seth made a face. “No one knows anything for sure except that they abandoned their child.”
    â€œWell, that’s not exactly true,” I put in. “Cliff’s son, Jerry, and Jerry’s wife, Marina, were archaeologists studying ancient civilizations. Don’t you remember, Seth?”
    â€œSo Cliff said. I rarely had any contact with Jerry. Wouldn’t know him if I tripped over him in the street. Course, he’d be in his fifties by now.” He looked at me. “Did you know him any better?”
    â€œNo, I didn’t. I understand he met his wife in college. They had a child, and when they decided to pursue their studies in South America, they left Elliot in Cliff’s care.”
    â€œAnd never came back,” Seth added.
    â€œBecause they died there,” I said.
    â€œThey were odd birds to begin with.”
    â€œWhy do you say that, Doc?”
    â€œBecause they were all wrapped up in their own interests, had no friends, no desire to be proper parents, let their baby run naked until the neighbors complained. Tore off to some isolated part of the world. I felt sorry for the boy, but the child protective services couldn’t do anything since he was being supervised by his grandfather.”
    â€œI’m sure the Conrad sisters were a civilizing influence,” I said. “And Lucy told me what a nice young man Elliot turned out to be.”
    â€œAbsolute miracle,” Seth said.
    â€œI hate to be a spoilsport,” Mort said to Eve, “but why does this ghost of yours, if there is one, have to be the previous owner? Why couldn’t it be Cooper Junior