I came out, Nanna had left and was on her way back to Atlanta.
“Where did you get that dress?”
I looked down and spread it out. It was a nice blend of turquoise and brown. “ Nanna gave it to me for my birthday.”
Mom’s mouth drew up in disapproval “You know strappy dresses are not your friend. It’s why I knew you could never do the pageant circuit. I’d have spent a fortune on body makeup trying to cover your freckles.” Mom grabbed another tray and made her way to the door. “I’m your mother, not your friend. I’m not going to lie to you.” And she walked out.
I felt my face turn red, my blood boiled under my flesh, making my cheeks hot to the touch. I grabbed my monologue and plopped on the sofa to read over it. Not only would I keep the dress on, I would do my best to have it wrinkled by the time the party started.
I looked at the monologue and tried to push my mom from my mind. It was the opening to a play called, The Effect of Gamma Rays on Man-In-The-Moon Marigolds, by Paul Zindel . I didn’t know the play, and trying to understand the feelings behind the words was kind of difficult. The character, Tillie, was rambling on about her hand and atoms and the sun all being a part of her. I heard a car door slam outside. I sat up and looked out the window.
“Mom, someone’s here.”
Mom ran outside to greet them. Dad hadn’t gotten home yet from the car lot so I thought she might need my help as people arrived. I stood and smoothed out my dress but remembered about our argument and stopped. By the looks of the people getting out of the car, I was dressed just fine.
Dad got home a little while after most of the guests had arrived. It was funny how the party was supposed to be for my birthday and yet I didn’t know anyone. I mainly stood around and listened to Mom brag about this and that. She introduced me to one couple—the Cooleys . Mr. Cooley asked me what grade I was in. I answered that I was a senior. Then he asked what colleges I was considering.
“I’m thinking community college the first two years, and then I’ll transfer to one of the universities so I won’t have such huge loans to pay back.”
My mom quickly interrupted. “Community college…tsk…Holly knows we’d never leave her to shoulder the burden of her college tuition. We probably won’t have to pay a dime anyway. She’s a straight A student and has been since kindergarten. Always has her nose in a book. We are so proud of her.” Mom squeezed me as she put her arm around my shoulder then pulled me away from them.
“Don’t go around telling people your dad and I can’t afford to send you to the college of your choice. It makes us look bad,” she whispered.
“You can’t afford to pay for my college. The burden is on my shoulders. You want me to lie to people?” I glared into my mom’s blue eyes. They were like glass—hard and cold.
“No, of course I’m not telling you to lie, just find a way to answer that leaves out the embarrassing parts. Are you trying to shame us?”
That was it. “Mom, you and Dad still have people calling to collect money for things we don’t even own anymore. But I didn’t say a word about that to Mr. Cooley. I simply answered the man’s question.”
Mom stood there. Her lips drew up like she was holding something back. She leaned in to my ear and whispered. “I was only a few points from being valedictorian; I held the most titles of any other Miss Chesnee High School in the school’s history. Voted most popular and most likely to succeed.” She pointed to our house. “This isn’t the life I was supposed to have.”
Mom left me to go schmooze with her guests. I didn’t feel like I belonged at her party anyway, so I went back in the house to work on my monologue. I’d never told my mom how I honestly felt before. It was a relief. I was tired of trying to be something I wasn’t or being so scared of doing the wrong thing that I never did anything. I just wanted to
Cornelia Amiri (Celtic Romance Queen)