Read The Drought (The hilarious laugh-out loud comedy about dating disasters!) for Free Online Page B

legs
walked past, I swear to God she looked straight at me. And it
wasn’t a run-of-the-mill type of look either. It was an eye-fuck –
a 100 per cent genuine bona fide unspoken look of lust.
    “ Who was that?” I
gushed.
    “ That is
Dick’s new PA,” Kelly said. “Her name is Shaila Saxena.”
    Shaila Saxena. Even her name
was hot. She looked like an Indian Goddess. The type of girl you
fall in love with the moment you lay eyes on her.
    “ Did you see
that?” I asked Kelly. I needed confirmation that someone else had
just seen the future Miss World give me the look.
    “ I saw you
standing there with a strange crooked grin on your face and your
tongue hanging out of your mouth like a demented dog,” Kelly
replied raising her eyebrows.
    “ No way. She
looked at me. She gave me the look .”
    “ What?” Kelly
said in a slightly high-pitched voice. “She barely glanced at
you.”
    “ Hey, it was a
look, okay?”
    “ Daydreaming
again are we, Hilles?” I turned and saw Pete Crowford the IT geek.
He was wearing a white short-sleeved shirt with four different
coloured biros in his top pocket. His five strands of hair were
stuck to the top of his head in a Bobby Charlton style
comb-over.
    “ What do you
want, Crowford?” I asked.
    “ That is one
sweet piece of candy,” Pete said pushing his thin-framed spectacles
back up the bridge of his nose. “But word of warning,” Pete
continued, straightening my collar. “I saw her first.”
    Kelly let out a laugh and Pete
shot her a look. “Don’t worry, Kelly,” Pete said, tilting his head
so he could look over his glasses at her. “There is plenty of love
to go around in the IT department for you too.”
    “ Oh, please,”
Kelly said almost insulted, flicking her hair back.
    “ Get the hell
out of here, Crowford,” I said pushing Pete away and kicking him up
the backside in the process. He threatened me with a back-hand
before slowly slinking off back towards the IT department gently
rubbing his butt.
    I turned my
attentions back towards Shaila who had now taken her seat at her
desk outside Dick’s office. “I’m telling you, Kelly, she looked at
me.”
    “ Well whatever
it was, it’s probably not going to get Dick off our back.” Kelly
paused in thought and then turned back to me. “You know, it doesn’t
matter how often I say that sentence it still sounds wrong, you
know?”
    I finally
snapped back to reality and looked at Kelly who was grinning. “You
have got a filthy mind, Campbell,” I smiled as Kelly pulled a face
as if to say what me? “Come on, we’d better get on the phones then.”
    Like so many
graduates fresh out of university I had no idea what to do with my
life and had fallen into the career path of a Media Sales
Executive. Searching for that perfect job in the Media Guardian I’d
stumbled across Media Sales. The job descriptions sold themselves
fantastically well. Looking back I shouldn’t have been surprised
seeing as they were written by sales people:
     
    Develop new business dealing
directly with those responsible for advertising and marketing
budgets. We are looking for someone who wants fast career
progression with high levels of drive, enthusiasm, initiative, and
commitment. You need a strong personality and a determination to
succeed, and will be working across both digital and print
media.
     
    Technically that description is
true. However, in the case of my job it failed to mention one or
two important aspects:
     
    Far from being glamorous as the
job title suggests, your soul will no longer be your own. You will
be working for a slave driver, who will constantly berate and
belittle you. You will be speaking to arseholes on the phone all
day who will treat you like a piece of scum on the bottom of their
shoe. You will slowly start to loathe your boss and your job, and
become one of those zombies who live to work.
     
    The first day back at work
after a holiday always drags, but today was particularly bad. I
managed to