guilt because heâd married her in the first place. Sheâd have settled down with a different man, maybe cheated once or twice, she was very oversexed, but with children sheâd have made the best of it. No children for him. Heâd been firm about that. A widow was bad enough, but he wouldnât leave any orphans ⦠thank God, as things had turned out.
The man had finished dressing. He smoothed his hair and cleared his throat before he spoke to the woman lying on the bed.
âHow about tomorrow? Iâve got a business lunch, but Iâm free for two hours in the afternoon. Please?â
She was very beautiful. She reminded him of a magnificent animal; a lioness, he thought, staring down at the naked body, arms stretched up behind her mane of thick blonde hair. She smiled up at him, and slowly raised herself off the bed. She wanted him to plead, to beg. She knew how much he liked that.
âJust two hours,â he wheedled. âIâll bring you something very nice. Something special.â
He came close and caught her hands.
âDonât make me kneel,â he whispered. âDonât make me crawl, darling.â
Suddenly she dug her nails into his hands. He gave a cry of pain and let go. That was part of the game. He looked down and saw that sheâd drawn blood. âYou bitch!â he mumbled.
She had turned away from him slipping on pantihose and a silk shift, sliding her feet into high-heeled shoes.
âI canât see you tomorrow, Gustav, Iâm going away for a few days.â
She sat down at the dressing-table and began brushing her hair. She watched him through the mirror. She hated him, but then she hated them all. The masochists like this one who wanted to be bullied and humiliated before they could get potent, the other type who liked to be rough, the mummyâs boys who had breast fetishes and paid to sit on her lap and fondle and talk baby-talk. Even the straight ones who wanted good sex and tried to please her. But they paid. They paid big money for Monika. And Monika paid out big money for protection. Not to a pimp. There wasnât a pimp born who could have run her, and the idea made her laugh. Another kind of protection. From the hit and run driver, the professional waiting round the corner with a knife. More and more money and no guarantee that it would be enough in the end. The client was sucking at his palms.
âIâm bleeding,â he reproached her. âWhy did you do that?â
âBecause you bore me,â she said not turning round.
âDonât say that,â he pleaded, enjoying himself. âI only want to please you. Let me come tomorrow ⦠please.â
She stood up. She was very tall. She towered over him.
âMy money,â she reminded him. âYou owe me Gustav. Youâre not coming again till you pay me.â
âIâve got it here,â he fumbled in his coat pocket, took out an envelope. âCash, darling. Count it.â
âI canât be bothered,â she shrugged and threw the envelope down unopened. âYou wouldnât cheat me. Iâd never see you again if it was one franc short. You know that.â
He adjusted his tie, buttoned his jacket again.
âAre you really going away?â
âI told you.â
He was jealous; he knew she had other clients but he didnât like to think of sharing her with anyone. Heâd been coming to see her for over a year.
âAre you going alone?â
She draped a heavy gold necklace round her neck and fitted earrings into her ears. She looked at herself in the mirror.
âIâm going to visit my mother in Grasse,â she said. âNow goodbye, Gustav darling. Your time is up.â
She opened the front door and stood waiting. He paused for a moment.
âTwo days. Thatâs Thursday then. Iâll telephone. I saw a nice brooch in Boucheronâs window.â
âI donât want a brooch.