His major sign of affection these days was absently patting me on the head as he walked by, much as he did the dog, and saying, âHow ya doing, little buddy?â I was constantly confused: Was I still his mom or just a really boring playmate heâd outgrown?
Zach, on the other hand, still seemed like his real selfâgoofy, completely unself-conscious about his affection for Michael and me. Lately, though, Iâd noted him watching Josh, and I worried that the wheels were turning. If his adored, hero-worshipped olderbrother thought the parents were so lame, maybe he needed to readjust his thinking as well. Soon, I suspected, Zach would just find us annoying as well. I figured we had two, three years tops to enjoy an uncomplicated relationship, and I wanted to make the most of it.
âMaggie?â said Michael. âDid you hear anything I said?â
âSorry,â I said. âYou know what? I donât get why I want to go either, but I guess itâs the devil-you-know theory. I mean, maybe Gifford is innocent, but right now Iâve got those awful police photos stuck in my head. And until I meet Gifford himself, Iâve got a monster pictured.â
Michael tugged at the comics planted under my elbow. âIf youâre not reading those, I want them.â
âI canât read the comics on the morning of a trip to Death Row,â I said. âTake âem.â
âSo, you think that if you see this guy, youâll be able to tell just by looking at him that he isâor he isnât a monster?â Michael persisted. âGee, letâs get rid of the criminal justice system, cara , and let you take a look at accused people. Save the taxpayers a lot of time and money, eliminate jury trials altogether.â He sipped his coffee and gave me a particularly smug grin. âWhy donât you explain your intuition to the warden at San Quentin, and maybe heâll send this guy home with you?â
I examined Michael while he read the comics, top to bottom. The fact that he was making wisecracks about my visit puzzled me.
I reached over and tapped my fingers on the back of his hand. Without looking up, he turned his hand over and clasped mine.
âHey,â I said. âHow come youâre not trying to talk me out of going to San Quentin?â
He put down the paper. âYouâre interrupting Shermanâs Lagoon ,â he said. âOkay, remember when we were at Dr. McQuistâs the other day?â he asked.
I nodded.
âYou said youâre interested in this as a story. Iâve decided Iâve got to believe you. I canât be second-guessing everything youâredoing at work, looking for trouble. You want me to trust you, so I guess Iâm going to try. If it turns into anything else, can I assume youâll talk to me?â
âI will,â I said eagerly. âI promise. Itâs justâ¦â
âWhat?â
âWell, thatâs great. Thatâs wonderful. I guess that means therapy is working, itâs just that I never would have thought that someone like Dr. Coat of Many Colors would work for us.â
Michael sipped his coffee. âYou donât think much of her, huh?â
âDo you? Look at her!â
Michael regarded me coolly. âAnd the great evenhanded journalist Maggie Fiori is judging people on the basis of looks again?â
âOh, for heavenâs sake. Iâm not a real journalist, I was an underemployed freelance writer who fell into this job, and Iâm trying to take it seriously, and yes, absolutely, Iâm a terrible, shallow person and I do judge people not by how they look but by how they choose to present themselves.â
âWell, if you donât give Dr. McQuist a chance, this whole thing isnât going to work,â he pointed out, letting go of my hand.
Shut up, Maggie, I said to myself, just shut up. I stood, came around behind Michael and threw