The Dear One

Read The Dear One for Free Online

Book: Read The Dear One for Free Online
Authors: Jacqueline Woodson
“Way in the future!”
    â€œYou think Clair still loves Rebecca?”
    â€œOf course. It takes a lot for a mother to stop loving her child, Feni.”
    â€œYou think Marion’s mother still loves her?”
    â€œI’m sure of it.”
    â€œBefore this Rebecca thing I didn’t even think about sex. Now I’m thinking about it all the time.”
    â€œWell, don’t think too hard,” Ma said.
    â€œEverything’s about sex, though. Rebecca ... Marion ...”
    â€œWell, I can’t really speak for Rebecca, because I don’t know her. But as for Marion and Bernadette, their relationship is about love, Feni. Marion and Bernadette love each other.”
    Ma lay back down beside me. “When it’s about love first, that’s the best way. That’s the way you remember it way into old age.”
    â€œIt’s so confusing. I mean, I don’t like boys so much now. Does that mean I won’t ever like them?”
    â€œTime tells, Feni. And if you don’t, that’s okay too.”
    â€œWould you still love me if I grew up to be gay?”
    â€œOf course.”
    â€œWould you still love me if I came home pregnant like Rebecca?”
    â€œOf course, but that doesn’t have to happen. When you think you’re ready for sex, we can talk about safer sex and birth control. I’ll even take you to the clinic. But I hope you’ll wait a few years before you fall in love that way. I want you to go to college, Feni, and do well. You’ll have so much time for babies.”
    â€œBut would you still love me?”
    â€œYes, I would still love you.”
    â€œWhat if I came home with a baby and a girlfriend!”
    â€œFeni . . . !”
    â€œJust checking, Ma!”
    â€œJust let’s talk before any kind of sex happens, okay?”
    I climbed farther under the covers and smiled. “Okay.”
    Ma closed her eyes.
    â€œIs she fat or skinny?”
    â€œI haven’t seen her in years.”
    â€œYou think she’s taller than me?”
    â€œI doubt it. You’re pretty tall.”
    â€œHer eyes were gray. I remember that. Remember, Grandma said gray-eyed people were evil.”
    â€œYour grandma was full of ideas about people.”
    â€œShe was the greatest.”
    â€œUm-hmm.”
    â€œMa?”
    â€œHmmm . . . ?”
    â€œYou think Grandma would have liked Rebecca staying here?”
    â€œShe would have thought it was different. ”
    I laughed. “Grandma would be mad. She’d say”—I lowered my voice and spoke slowly—“ ‘Now Catherine, ’taint right! Just ’taint right, you raisin’ my Feni around girls in trouble.’ Isn’t that what she would’ve said?”
    â€œYou have her down, all right.”
    â€œShe was the greatest.”
    The house creaked in the silence. Ma’s breath became steady against my arm.
    â€œMa . . . ?”
    â€œFey, do you know what time it is?” Ma asked sleepily.
    â€œTime to say I love you.” I turned on my side. “Good night.”
    Ma laughed sleepily, pulled me closer to her, and sighed.

Seven
    ON SUNDAY, MA LEFT EARLY TO MEET REBECCA AT THE airport, and I stayed behind to shovel the slush out of the driveway.
    As I shoveled the last of the snow into a small gray pile, the sun came out. Shielding my eyes, I looked out over the street. Seton is a small black Pennsylvanian suburb surrounded by mountains. The Victorian houses stand far apart from each other, and the people who live in them are doctors and lawyers and bankers. A lot of families have kids who get sent away to private schools in the fall. Looking out over the quiet street made me sad all of a sudden. I wondered how many Rebeccas had been sent from here while the rest of us, the “nice kids,” were being sent to Jack and Jill, White Gloves and Manners, and dance school—all the places nice kids go to meet other

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