Read The Dastard for Free Online

they're alone together,” Ted said. “Twice a day.”
    “That's right,” Monica said. “Your mother does it twice a day. That's why she palms you off on other folk for baby-sitting.”
    “Twice a day,” Ted agreed.
    “But that doesn't mean that other grown folk do,” Monica said. She was less imaginative than Ted, but more sensible.
    “What else would they do, when there are no children watching?” Ted asked.
    That turned out to be a good question. They couldn't think of anything else adults would do.
    So they got to work on it. Melody began to hum, forming the first part of their magic. Harmony made her harmony-ca appear and played it in time, augmenting the magic. Rhythm conjured her little drum and made a beat, completing the magic.
    First they formed the image of a grown man. When the image was complete, they solidified him. He stood there, not doing much other than breathing. They didn't yet know how to give a conjuration intelligence, but trusted it wouldn't be needed here. Then they formed the image of a grown woman, and solidified her similarly. The man was moderately handsome, and the woman was halfway pretty. Not that it much mattered, because neither had any eyes; they had been drawn blind.
    Now there was a problem. The figures were blind because the children didn't want to be seen. But that meant they couldn't see each other, either; they didn't know they weren't quite alone. However, after a moment they had the man raise one hand, and the woman raise a hand, and the hands banged together so they found each other.
    What would they do next? The children waited in absolute silence.
    The door opened. There was Mother. “What are you up to?” she demanded.
    The figures popped out of existence, and the triplets assumed an expression of perfect innocence. But not quite fast enough. Princess Ivy caught half a glimpse of the conjured figures. “So you are trying to undermine the Conspiracy!” she said severely.
    They were fairly caught. “How did you know?” Melody asked.
    “You were too quiet.”
    What irony. Their very silence had betrayed them. Now they were in trouble. Again. As usual.
    Then Mother saw Demon Ted and DeMonica. “I should have known,” she muttered. “Little demons.”
    There was nothing they could say, for she was at least half right. But there was seldom anything to be said when an adult got an Attitude. They just had to wait for the storm to pass.
    “It is time you got some education,” Ivy said severely. It was obvious that she had never been a child. “Now you sit there and watch the Magic Tapestry until you learn something.” She departed, closing the door decisively behind her.
    Now they were in for truly awful dullness. The Magic Tapestry hung on their wall, as it had for generations, and showed nothing but animated Xanth scenes, past and present. The little woven figures came to life, in a manner, when they were watched, and reenacted their bits of Xanthly lore. It was very educational, which was what made it so dull. It had a spell on it that their friend Breanna of the Black Wave called a V-chip: it chipped out key sections, which made the scenes very dull. No storks at all. If they watched it enough, it would show them all sanitized Xanth History. What a bore.
    They saw an animal wandering. “What's that?” Melody asked.
    “Must be a werewolf,” Harmony said.
    “No, it's Mundane,” Rhythm concluded.
    They focused on the creature, which had a little sign dangling from his collar. It had words on it, but they couldn't make them out, and anyway, they didn't know how to read.
    “He looks lonely,” Melody said.
    “Maybe we should 'dopt him,” Harmony agreed.
    “Mom would never let us,” Rhythm said. She was obviously right. So, reluctantly, they let the dog wander off the scene, and wished they could wander with him.
    But they had no choice. They set it for Recent History. They happened to spy a night mare racing across the scenery with her cargo of bad dreams.