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rattled in his brain, as though he were in his fathe r’ s throne room, hearing the king pass judgment.
    Kaleigh handed him the plate of food and pulled a chair close, but kept a discreet distance .“ I can see this is much for you to absorb. I can leave if you wish . ”
    “ Please, stay. The woman you loved, was she an initiate as well ? ”
    Kaleigh took a moment before she answered. When she did, her voice was distant, as if she were once more with her forbidden lover .“ We were young then, not much older than you are now, I suppose. All initiates are taught the ways of pleasuring both men and women .” At Rhoan e’ s look of surprise, she cautioned ,“ It is for practical reasons only. As future practitioners of our faith, it is up to the priestesses to council couples how best to conceive children . ”
    Rhoane nodded. His long fingers stroked his chin .“ I suppose the physical benefits were worth it .” An image of Carga flashed through his thoughts and he brushed it aside .“ Do all initiates participate in the practice ?”
    “ Yes. You could not become a priestess without knowing how to share your body with another. It was a great honor to be skilled in the ways of lovemaking. Some of us would practice on each other, while others preferred to keep their studies to themselves .” A wry smile creased her otherwise smooth skin .“ Of course, I had to choose one of the latter. She was beautiful in a sad sort of way. She came from humble means, with no family to call her own. I thought if I loved her enough, she would enjoy being at the temple, but her heart was never committed to becoming a priestess . ”
    “ My sister is destined to one day become high priestess .” The words tasted like straw in his mouth.
    “ Do not dwell on her, Rhoane. She knew what was required before Verdaine asked her to become an initiate. We all did . ”
    “ In my heart, I know you are right. But she is my sister. I suppose I want to always think of her as being pure, untouched . ”
    “ Are any of us pure, Your Highness ? ”
    The question seared through him. Her revelations shook his core beliefs, but he urged her to continue with her story.
    “ Are you sure ?” Kaleigh asked, doubt written on her features.
    He nodded, not really certain of anything anymore.
    She took a breath and continued her tale .“ One day, I professed my love to her in the only way I knew how. I forced myself upon her. She did not fight me, nor did she reciprocate. I took her silence as acceptance and suggested we run away together. That way she would not have to be one of Verdain e’ s postulants. Instead of declaring her love in return, she told the high priestess what I had done. I was stripped of my initiate honor and cast out as sheanna .” Kaleigh touched her blonde curls and sighed .“ I vowed to never love again. In fact, I spent many seasons finding as many men and women as I could and tainting myself with them. I figured if I were forbidden from ever returning to my homeland, I might as well earn my sheanna .” A spiteful chuckle escaped her lips .“ I nearly died trying to prove they were right to shun me . ”
    Emotion choked his words and he cleared his throat, keeping his hands firmly in his lap, not trusting himself to offer her comfort. He wanted to touch her too much. To ease the sorrow from her eyes. In them, he saw himself. Saw his own shame.
    “ How is it you came to be a prisoner here ? ”
    “ I told you, I am no prisoner. Amdi saved me. He found me in the foulest brothel of Paderau and brought me to the desert. He once told me he did not want to go to the brothel that night, but his brother forced him. His brother was a nasty man, vulgar and cras s— he used women for pleasure, priding himself on how many he could bed in one night. It was dumb luck Amdi found me first. If Deshan had been the first in my room, I am certain I would be as dead as he is . ”
    Something in her tone gave Rhoane pause .“ Did you kill