The Colour of Magic
the black box, half expecting it to explode or emit strange musical tones.
    “Ah,” said the sergeant. He was staring at the box, too.
    Twoflower smiled brightly at them.
    “I’d like a record of the event,” he said. “Do you think you could ask them all to stand over by the window, please? This won’t take a moment. And, er, Rincewind?”
    “Yes?”
    Twoflower stood on tiptoe to whisper.
    “I expect you know what this is, don’t you?”
    Rincewind stared down at the box. It had a round glass eye protruding from the center of one face, and a lever at the back.
    “Not wholly,” he said.
    “It’s a device for making pictures quickly,” said Twoflower. “Quite a new invention. I’m rather proud of it but, look, I don’t think these gentlemen would—well, I mean they might be—sort of apprehensive? Could you explain it to them? I’ll reimburse them for their time, of course.”
    “He’s got a box with a demon in it that draws pictures,” said Rincewind shortly. “Do what the madman says and he will give you gold.”
    The Watch smiled nervously.
    “I’d like you in the picture, Rincewind. That’s fine.” Twoflower took out the golden disc that Rincewind had noticed before, squinted at its unseen face for a moment, muttered “Thirty seconds should about do it,” and said brightly, “Smile please!”
    “Smile,” rasped Rincewind. There was a whirr from the box.
    “Right!”

    High above the Disc the second albatross soared; so high in fact that its tiny mad orange eyes could see the whole of the world and the great, glittering, girdling Circle Sea. There was a yellow message capsule strapped to one leg. Far below it, unseen in the clouds, the bird that had brought the earlier message to the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork flapped gently back to its home.

    Rincewind looked at the tiny square of glass in astonishment. There he was, all right—a tiny figure, in perfect color, standing in front of a group of Watchmen whose faces were each frozen in a terrified rictus. A buzz of wordless terror went up from the men around him as they craned over his shoulder to look.
    Grinning, Twoflower produced a handful of the smaller coins Rincewind now recognized as quarter- rhinu . He winked at the wizard.
    “I had similar problems when I stopped over in the Brown Islands,” he said. “They thought the iconograph steals a bit of their souls. Laughable, isn’t it?”
    “Yarg,” said Rincewind and then, because somehow that was hardly enough to keep up his side of the conversation, added, “I don’t think it looks very like me, though.”
    “It’s easy to operate,” said Twoflower, ignoring him. “Look, all you have to do is press this button. The iconograph does the rest. Now, I’ll just stand over here next to Hrun, and you can take the picture.”
    The coins quietened the men’s agitation in the way that gold can, and Rincewind was amazed to find, half a minute later, that he was holding a little glass portrait of Twoflower wielding a huge notched sword and smiling as though all his dreams had come true.

    They lunched at a small eating house near the Brass Bridge, with the Luggage nestling under the table. The food and wine, both far superior to Rincewind’s normal fare, did much to relax him. Things weren’t going to be too bad, he decided. A bit of invention and some quick thinking, that was all that was needed.
    Twoflower seemed to be thinking too. Looking reflectively into his wine cup he said, “Tavern fights are pretty common around here, I expect?”
    “Oh, fairly.”
    “No doubt fixtures and fittings get damaged?”
    “Fixt—Oh, I see. You mean like benches and whatnot. Yes, I suppose so.”
    “That must be upsetting for the innkeepers.”
    “I’ve never really thought about it. I suppose it must be one of the risks of the job.”
    Twoflower regarded him thoughtfully.
    “I might be able to help there,” he said. “Risks are my business. I say, this food is a bit greasy, isn’t

Similar Books

The Marching Season

Daniel Silva

The Englor Affair

J.L. Langley

Impulse

Candace Camp

Poison

Leanne Davis

Randoms

David Liss

Lando (1962)

Louis - Sackett's 08 L'amour

Imitation

Heather Hildenbrand

Earth's Hope

Ann Gimpel

Fighter's Mind, A

Sam Sheridan