ancient
reflected in her eyes as she studied her own image. Smoothing age-defying
lotion over her neck and upper chest, she swirled her fingers in a sad, slow
rhythm over the pale flesh where the faint traces of wrinkles were beginning to
sag. It confirmed my jealousy suspicions. She was probably feeling
self-conscious because Barry hadn’t given her anything sparkly to wrap around
her own wrinkly, old throat.
Then she let out a sigh and wiped at the corner of her eye,
and it struck me. I mean really struck me.
She hurt.
What a strange sensation to realize my mother was a person
too, a true-life human with feelings, not just someone who existed purely to
care and provide for me. My mom possessed the same imperfect, human emotions I
did: jealousy, insecurity, weakness, pain.
Her weary, depleted manner made me pause. It reminded me
this was all just as new for her as it was for me. She hadn’t been married to
anyone for thirteen years. And she hadn’t known her new husband all that long.
There was no worn, comfortable routine to her life, just like there was none in
mine. She was going through her own firsts and fears. It would take time for
each of us to adjust and adapt.
I moved back a step to leave her alone, but she caught sight
of me in the mirror and whirled around.
“Grace,” she gasped, her cheeks flushing as if she’d been
caught robbing a bank instead of putting on lotion.
Since we were already facing off and I still did not want to
attend Southeast, I decided to bring up the matter anyway, though the insight
into her had calmed me enough to use a softer voice when I asked, “Are you sure
there’s no way I can’t keep attending Hillsburg?”
She sighed, gritting her teeth and narrowing her eyes into
slits. With her jaw clamped the way it was, the words growled their way from
her throat. “You’re not going to bring that up again, are you?”
Well, yeah. I thought I just had.
“I can find a part time job on the weekends and pay Adam and
Schy for gas money to come pick me up every day.”
“Grace, you’re already enrolled in Southeast and are starting
there in the morning .”
“But—”
“No. This isn’t up for re-discussion.”
I stomped my foot. “Mom, you’re not even listening.”
From then on, I lost my grasp on everything I’d been feeling
only seconds earlier. All the insight I’d caught into her psyche, the
understanding connection, it all vanished and floated off as if I hadn’t even
experienced it.
“You’re the one that isn’t listening, Grace. I said no, and
that’s final.”
Balling my hands down at my sides, I allowed myself to
envision letting that fist fly. But a deep breath later, I calmed and settled
for a killer glare. Whirling away, I stomped toward the doorway of her and
Barry’s bedroom until I saw him standing in the doorway, watching us. His gaze
held sympathy and regret.
I faltered since it’d be rude to bulldoze over the innocent
bystander.
He shifted his gaze to my mom. “Kate, maybe she should stay
at Hillsburg. She’s used to it and—”
“Don’t even start with me, Barry.”
I glanced back at my mom in time to catch the look she sent
him. It wasn’t something a new bride should be shooting her new husband. But it
caused Barry to lift his hands and back out of the doorway. In the next second,
he disappeared.
“Way to go,” I muttered. “Lose him before you’re even
married two months.”
Without waiting around to catch her response, I flounced
from the room and went straight to my own domain. Shutting myself inside, I
told my friends Hillsburg was a definite no-go. For the next hour or so, I let
them console me.
When mom dropped by to warn me I should turn in because the
next day was going to be a big one—I needed a good night’s rest—I snarled
something like, “Christmas is a big day. My birthday or graduation is a big
day. I thought tomorrow was just any
other day.”
She sniffed and left me alone, and I purposely stayed