think he’s going to tell us?’ she asked.
‘We’ll know if he’s lying.’
‘How? How will we know?’
‘He’ll be tired,’ I said. ‘Confused. Exhausted. He won’t be able to think straight.’
‘Then maybe we should talk to him before we feed him.’
‘Could you do that? Just let him starve?’
Natalia came close. ‘Yes. Maybe.’ She shook her head. ‘No. Oh, I don’t know. I just want him gone. Out of this house. He’s brought trouble with him; I can feel it
in the air like I can feel it when winter’s coming.’
‘It’ll be all right. We’ll be all right.’
‘Can you really say that?’
‘Yes.’
‘Really?’
I sighed and turned away from her, telling Viktor to meet me outside. I went to the front door, Natalia coming from the bedroom as I put on my coat.
‘You should eat something before you go,’ she said as I pulled on my boots. ‘I’ll make porridge.’
I shoved my foot hard into my boot and straightened up, putting a hand on my belly. ‘I can’t eat before this,’ I said.
‘You’ll need your strength.’
‘I’ll regain it afterwards.’
‘Please,’ she said, unfastening my coat. ‘It won’t take a minute.’
I slumped my shoulders and thought about it before nodding.
‘And Viktor will need something,’ she went on. ‘Think of your son if not of yourself.’
‘OK,’ I sighed. ‘But not too much.’
I sat while she prepared something for us, Viktor and Petro coming out of the other room. Petro was carrying Lara, dressed but still sleepy.
‘You said you’d wake us,’ Petro said. ‘You watched him yourself all night?’
‘I slept a little.’
‘So now what?’
‘So now we see to one or two things. Viktor and me. Outside.’
‘You want me to help?’ Petro asked, putting his sister down and coming to sit in his usual place, opposite me.
‘You can help your mother.’
Petro mumbled something under his breath.
‘What did you say?’
He looked at me. ‘I said “woman’s work”. You always give me the woman’s work.’
‘Woman’s work? Looking after the animals isn’t woman’s work. Taking care of your family is not woman’s work.’
‘But you always take Viktor,’ he said. ‘You give Viktor the rifle when we hunt—’
‘He’s a better shot than you. We can’t afford to waste ammunition.’
‘And now you take Viktor with you when you could take me. Or both of us.’
I sat back and ran a hand across my beard. ‘Trust me, son, you don’t want to do this. That’s why I’m taking Viktor.’
‘I’m stronger than you think,’ Petro said, looking at his brother.
‘Maybe you should let him come.’ Viktor shrugged. ‘He’s as strong as I am.’
I watched my sons sitting side by side at my table and wondered how they had grown to be men without me noticing. I allowed myself a moment of pride, looking at my family. My strong wife, my two
sons and my beautiful daughter. I was a lucky man to have come so far and still have so much. Behind me there was death and hardship, before me there was blood and horror, but here, now, I had
everything a man could want.
I nodded. ‘All right, Petro. We could use your help.’
There was still no sign of the sun when we went out into the cold. A greyish half-light had graced the air, but it was subdued by a mist that hung like a veil. We trudged
around the house, disturbing a pair of magpies that flew up into the naked branches of an apple tree. The birds watched us from their perch, chattering their staccato cackle and dropping back to
the ground as we passed.
‘How d’you want to do this?’ Viktor asked as we came round the old barn.
I unlocked the door and we went in, disturbing the animals, a chicken running for cover.
‘What’s under there?’ Petro asked, nodding his head at the shape under the tarpaulin.
‘Children,’ I said.
‘Children?’
I looked at Viktor. ‘We’ll take everything else off the sled.’ I crouched to untie the ropes that held the