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finished yet. I knew he wasn't near finished but I just lay there and didn't say anything that's all I did I just lay there with my eyes closed pretending I was asleep.
     
    Ten men under him, said da, that's right. Closing a gate in a Backstreet factory that's what he's been at from the day he landed there, tipping his cap to his betters in his wee blue porter's suit. Oh Alo went far, make no mistake!
    Ma touched Alo on the forearm he looked like a child who had soiled his trousers.
     
    There was sweat on da's upper lip it shone like needles. He said: He was always the same, from the minute we were dumped in that Belfast kip. The same softie halfwit, sucking up to the nuns and moping about the corridors. You know what he used to tell them? Our da's coming to take us home tomorrow! Night noon and morning I had to listen to it! You'd be waiting a long time if you were to wait for Andy Brady to come and take you home! I told him to shut up! What did we care I said we'd manage on our own we needed nobody. I told him it was all over. But he wouldn't listen! Couldn't be shut up, him and his mouthing! And the rest of them taking a hand out of him every chance they got!
     
    Ma cried out. I never seen her face da before. Don't blame it on your brother because you were put in a home! Christ Jesus Benny are you never going to come to terms with it! After all this time, is it never going to end?
     
    The side of Alo's face jerked and for a second it seemed as if he was on the verge of saying something really daft like: Do you think it will rain? Or Where did you get that tablecloth?
    He didn't though. What he said was: Its getting late. Maybe I'm as well get to my bed.
    Then he said: I'll hardly see you before I go.
    He asked ma did the bus still go from the corner. She said it did.
    Da had a whiskey glass in his hand. It was trembling a little. I thought maybe he wanted to fling it from him, throw his arms around Alo and cry at the top of his voice: How about that Alo? Fairly fooled you there! That took you in hook line and sinker! Me and Alo -- the years we spent in Belfast! The home? A wonderful place! The best years of our lives! Me and Alo -- we loved every minute of it in there! Isn't that right old friend?
     
    When all this came into my head I wanted to leap up and yahoo. I wanted to cry out let's have another party I'll go and get Mary and the whole thing can go right this time what do you say to that Alo is that a good idea?
     
    But that was only me raving and didn't happen and the next thing I heard was the sound of the front door closing, you could hardly hear it at all. Ma was in a bad way now. It destroyed you that place, can't you see that?, she said. You can't even talk about it, can you? Not even after all this time! Its no shame Benny that you were put in there! And even if it was, no shame should make you turn on your own brother like a dog!
     
    He didn't like that and he turned on her then. He said at least he never had to be took off to a madhouse to disgrace the whole family. I knew then ma was never in any garage but I knew all along anyway, I knew it was a madhouse I just didn't want Nugent or anyone to hear so I said it was a garage. But then I knew too that Nugent knew all about it Mrs Connolly and the women would have told her. So I don't know what I bothered saying anything about a garage for at all. I could hear Nugent saying: Imagine him thinking he could pull the wool over my eyes!
     
    When da said that she ran out of the room and I didn't know what to do. Da was laughing to himself he said what did he care? He clutched the whiskey glass like a weapon and poured himself another. He stood in the middle of the kitchen.
    I've always gone my own way, he shouted. Everything I ever did, my way -- father or no father! No thanks to Andy Brady or anyone else! Do you hear me?
    He just stood there waiting for another argument to start. That was what he wanted but there was no one there to start it with. Then when