The Bus Driver Who Wanted to Be God & Other Stories

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Book: Read The Bus Driver Who Wanted to Be God & Other Stories for Free Online
Authors: Etgar Keret
Persian’s grocery shop we saw him throwing out the dirty floor-washing water next to the tree opposite his shop andgetting ready to lock up. “Have you seen Marina today?” my brother asked him. And the Persian answered him with a half sucking noise, which is the kind of sound that even without knowing Persian you know means “no.” “I didn’t see Korbi today either,” said the Persian, “the first time this summer that he didn’t show. I dunno why, it’s a nice day today.” We went on walking. “I bet him and Krotochinsky have gone to Youth City too,” I said. “What do I care where they went?” my brother snapped. “What does anyone care where they went?”
    But Korbi didn’t go to Youth City. I know, because we met him on the way, in the Yarkon Park, not far from the artificial lake. He and Krotochinsky came toward us on the path. Korbi was holding a rusty iron bar and Krotochinsky was scratching his head, and they weren’t talking, as if they were concentrating on someting important. We didn’t greet them, and they didn’t greet us. And only when we were right next to them, when we had already almost passed them, Korbi opened his mouth and said, “Sonofabitch.” And before I understood what was happening, he hit Myron in the stomach with the rusty bar, and my brother fell on the asphalt path, writhing in pain. I tried to go up to him, to help him get up, but Krotochinsky grabbed me from behind. “You.” Korbi turned my brother over from his stomach to his back with a few kicks. “You stole my girl when we was going steady,” he yelled, his face was all red, and before my brother could reply Korbi put his shoe on his neck and transferred almost all his weight to it. I tried to free myself, but Krotochinsky’s grip was too tight.“You know, Gold, that there’s one of the ten commandments against what you did,” Korbi hissed between his teeth. “‘Thou shalt not steal’ is what it’s called. ‘Thou shalt not steal,’ but you? With you it’s like water off a duck’s back.” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” I said, I don’t know why, on the ground I saw my brother’s eyes roll up. “What did you say?” Korbi stopped. When he turned to me a little weight was lifted from my brother’s throat, and he began to cough and retch. “I said that it was ‘Thou shalt not commit adultery,’ what you meant,” I mumbled, “that it was another commandment.” I prayed to God that Myron would manage to get up now, and that he would beat the shit out of Korbi. “And if it was another commandment,” said Korbi, “you think that makes any difference? That because of that I’ll take my foot off your sex-maniac brother’s neck?” He leaned forward again. “No,” I said to Korbi, “not because of that, I mean. But let go of him, Korbi, you’re choking him. Can’t you see that he’s choking?” Korbi took his foot off my brother’s neck, and came up to me. “Tell me, Gold, you’re a good student, right? You look like a good student to me.” “So-so,” I mumbled. “Don’t give me that so-so crap,” said Korbi and touched me on the face with the back of his hand. I moved my head back. “You’re a hot-shot student.” Behind him, on the ground, I saw Myron trying to get up. “So you tell me, Gold.” Korbi bent down and picked the iron bar off the sidewalk. “You tell me, what was the punishment written in the Bible for breaking the ten commandments?” I kept quiet. Korbi began bouncing the iron barin his hand. “Come on, Gold.” He twisted his mouth. “Tell me, so’s I’ll know, ’cause I’m thick and not such a hot-shot at school as you are.” “I don’t know,” I said, “I

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