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“If this Willy Owens—”
     
    “
Billy
Owens.”
     
    “Billy, Willy, what the hell’s the difference? If he really wants to fight you, you can’t dodge him forever. So the best thing to do is to jump him when he’s least expecting him it—surprise him. These schoolyard fights never last very long anyway. Maybe you’ll get a few good punches or kicks in, then the other kids’ll break it up. After that, this kid’ll think you’re tough and a little crazy and he’ll leave you alone.”
     
    “You don’t understand,” I said. “Billy Owens is really, really, really strong. He’s like the toughest kid in school and he’ll kill me in a fight.”
     
    My father was looking back toward his typewriter, obviously anxious to get rid of me.
     
    “If he wants to fight you, you have no choice but to fight him. You can’t keep running away forever.”
     
    “But, daaaad—”
     
    “Enough, Jonathan. I told you what to do, now why don’t you be a good kid and leave me the hell alone, okay?”
     
    * * *
     
    I didn’t have an appetite for dinner, which was pretty unusual for me. Normally I had two Hungry Man frozen dinners and at least a few scoops of Breyer’s mint chocolate chip for desert.
     
    “Is something wrong?” my mother asked.
     
    I didn’t say anything. I just sat there, staring at the tray of sliced turkey and stuffing. My father was still at work in his study. The sound of his fingers banging on the keys was echoing throughout the big Victorian house.
     
    “Well, when you’re ready to tell me what’s going on, you can,” my mother said.
     
    * * *
     
    The next day, in the schoolyard, I saw Billy Owens standing near the handball court, talking to a few other kids. I remembered what my father told me, about how I should take Billy by surprise. I wasn’t sure this would work, but I knew my father was right about one thing—I couldn’t hide from Billy. Eventually, I’d have to fight him so now might be as good a time as any.
     
    I took a few deep breaths, then I ran toward Billy as fast as I could. A few seconds before I reached him he must’ve heard me coming because he turned toward me, looking completely surprised. I tackled him and, using my weight, I held him down. A crowd quickly formed around us and kids were yelling, “Fight, fight, fight…” Billy was finally able to turn me over, but he only got one or two punches in before the schoolyard monitor came over.
     
    Billy and I were both sent to the principal’s office. It was the first time I’d been sent there, but Billy had gotten into trouble dozens of times before. Even though Billy claimed I’d started the fight, Mr. Greenberg let me go with a warning about fighting in school and he didn’t call my parents. But Billy had to stay with Mr. Greenberg and later in the day I found out he’d been suspended.
     
    When school ended, it was a relief to be able to exit with the other kids and not have to worry about getting beaten up.
     
    At home, my appetite was back and I was eating chocolate doughnuts in front of the TV as a pre-dinner snack. I watched cartoons, then I started watching
Gamera Verus Gyaosu
on The Four-thirty Movie when the doorbell rang. My father was busy typing in his study so I went to answer it. I parted the shade on the glass door to see who it was. At first I didn’t see anyone, then Billy Owens’ ugly face appeared. He looked angrier and scarier than he’d ever seemed before.
     
    “Open the door, pork ass—right now!”
     
    I let go of the curtain and ran upstairs to my room and locked the door. I was hoping that Billy would go home, leave me alone, but he kept ringing the doorbell. Then it sounded like he was keeping his finger pressed on the bell because there was just one steady ring.
     
    “Jonathan!” My father’s voice boomed. “Jonathan!”
     
    He started banging on the door to my room.
     
    “What?” I said.
     
    “What’s going on? Didn’t you answer the doorbell?”
     
    I