me?”
“It was good while it lasted.”
He slammed the flat of his hand on the table, spilling a glass. “You cheated on me?”
Everyone stared. Elena blushed scarlet and leaned towards him, breathing hard. “I swear, if you don’t keep your voice down, I’m leaving.”
He fought for control. A waiter came to the table, fussed over the spilled glass of wine. Adam wanted to grab him and throw him across the room: “Just leave it,” he said, “it doesn’t matter.”
He had to keep it together. “How could you do that?” he said, after the waiter had gone.
“You don’t want me, Adam, let’s face it. You’re not ready, and I am. Thank you for saying you’d do all those things but I don’t want to have babies with someone who’s just doing it for my benefit. That’s not my dream.”
“We’ll talk about this another time.”
“I’ve made up my mind, Adam. I’m sorry. It’s for the best. I’d never be a good doctor’s wife anyway.”
He couldn’t believe this was happening. This didn’t make sense.
But how many times had he done this to someone? This was the first time he had sat on the other side of the table and listened to the death sentence like this. He was supposed to be the one who made this speech.
“You said you loved being with me. You said I was like no man you’d ever been with.”
“And that’s all true. But I have to think of the future.”
She was so calm about it. He hated her, and he hated himself even more.
“You cheated on me?”
“I did not cheat on you!”
“You said you met someone else.”
“That’s not the reason we’re breaking up.”
“Yes it is, you said you met someone else. You’re cheating on me.”
“I’m not cheating.”
“Then what the fuck would you call it?” he said, and this time the whole room heard him. She sorted through her purse for a tissue. “Excuse me,” she said. She went to the bathroom.
He called for the check. He wondered at himself; just today a guy had produced a gun in the ER while he was working on a gangbanger bleeding out in Trauma 2, everyone had panicked except for him. He had stayed calm and clamped off the kid’s femoral artery, ignored the chaos even when the guy put two bullet holes in the ceiling. Eventually the two cops who brought in the gangbanger grabbed the guy and Tasered him.
He guessed his heart rate never went over eighty. Now his girlfriend said she was leaving him and he wanted to wreck the place.
He waited for her by the door. When she came out of the restroom they left without saying a word to each other. He knew that people were trying not to stare; he supposed they would be everyone’s topic of conversation when they left.
They got caught in traffic on Memorial Drive, there had been a pile up on the bridge. It was the rain, no one knew to slow down in this damned city. It was coming down harder now and the wiper blades couldn’t keep up.
“This is crazy,” he said. “You said it yourself. We were special. We are special.”
“I’m sorry,” she repeated, “I didn’t want to hurt you, Adam. But let’s face it, you’re just not the marrying kind.”
“Do I know this guy?”
She shook her head.
“Is it someone from work?”
“I don’t want to talk about him. What’s the point?”
“How long have you been seeing him?”
“Stop it.”
“I think I have a right to know.”
“Why? What difference will it make?”
“Is it the same with him as it was with us? Is it? Is he better in bed than me? Does he make you laugh like I did?”
“Just stop it.” The traffic was backed up, just a smudge of red lights as far as he could see. He had to shout over the rain hammering on the roof.
“How long has this been going on?”
“Nothing’s been going on.”
“But you want it to. Is that right? That’s why we’re breaking up? So you don’t feel guilty jumping into bed with some other guy?”
He knew this was crazy talk, he was just running off at the mouth now,