directed her attention to me.
“ Who
doesn't?” I replied, suddenly nervous.
“ Do
you not think you're a beautiful woman?” She diverted my
question.
“ Well,
I don't think I'm ugly.” I thought about it. When I was in my
late teens, I had been a real knockout, thin and beautiful. Then I
had met my ex-husband, got married, got comfortable, and let my body
go to crap. Once the divorce was finalized, I decided to live for
myself—and only for myself. Men no longer mattered. All I cared
about was being happy, and that meant doing whatever I wanted and
eating whatever I wanted. By the time I thought I might want to date
again, it was too late. My body had swelled up to the point that no
amount of exercise seemed to get the weight back off, so I gave up,
surrendering to a life of solitude. I decided to go ahead and explain
all of this to both of them. The worst thing it could do was scare
Garret away. And if that was going to happen then I would rather it
happen from the get go when I wasn't too attached.
I
averted his eyes as I told my sob story, though I could feel him
watching me, seeing my weakness and vulnerability. Mrs. Iserman
looked at me deadpan, nodding and mhming until I was finished. I
suppose that was her job, to not look affected by anything we were
saying. Still, it was a bit annoying.
“ You
can work out with me if you want?” Garret suggested, and I did
my best to see it as him being helpful rather than an insult to my
weight.
“ So,
this has affected your sex life?” Mrs. Iserman asked, ignoring
Garret completely.
“ Yes,”
I admitted. “I hate being touched.”
“ How
do you feel about that?” She turned her attention back to
Garret finally.
“ I'm
willing to work with it. I think we could heal each other.” He
smiled warmly at me.
His
trust issues seemed like child's play compared to my weight issues,
though both had kept us from having committed relationships. Perhaps
both problems were equally rooted inside of us. Maybe we really did
need each other.
The
session seemed to end on a positive note, with both of us agreeing to
try to work on our issues individually while also helping each other.
I expected her to give us some kind of homework. Every other shrink I
had been to gave out exercises to help people overcome their
problems.
“ I
think it would be best if we varied our sessions,” she
suggested as we walked her towards the door. “I'd like to see
you both individually every other week, and then a session together
once a month.”
“ Alright,”
Garret agreed, absent care of my thoughts on the matter. While it did
cross my mind to object, I could really use the sessions. My
self-confidence issues had driven me into practically being a hermit.
And if I was going to date the richest man in the entire city, then I
would need to get over them pretty quickly.
When
Mrs. Iserman was out the door, Garret pressed his back against it
with a deep sigh, “So, what do you think?”
“ You're
going through an awful lot of trouble just to get in my pants,”
I teased.
“ Is
it working?” he raised an uncertain eyebrow.
“ I
don't know. Let's find out.” I stepped up to him, standing on
my tip toes to reach his lips. Garret's eyes were closed before my
mouth had even touched his, which I found extremely adorable. I
relaxed into the kiss as he draped his arms around my hips. His kiss
was warm and soft, full of passion and lacking the desperate lust
that I thought I'd feel from him. It was a comforting thought that he
seemed willing to take things at my pace.
“ Shall
we?” Garret asked as I pulled away, extending his hand for me
to take it. My fingers slipped into his, and he guided me down the
hallway to his bedroom. With each step, my heart rate accelerated
until it was thundering before the entrance to his room.
Nervousness
welled up inside of me to the point that I was nauseous, and I was
once again unsure if I could go through with what I knew he wanted to
do in there.