Read The Believing Game for Free Online

girls.” That time I managed the sly tone flawlessly.
    â€œOnce in a while.” Addison pulled me closer. “Sometimes Joshua makes people uncomfortable.” I heard the question in his voice.
    â€œNot at all.”
    â€œReally?”
    â€œHe cares about you, that’s all. I’m sure he was testing me a little because of that.”
    â€œWell, you passed.”
    â€œYeah?”
    â€œI could tell. I can always tell.” We walked a little ways. “Did he surprise you?”
    â€œBecause he said fuck ? Seriously?” But I already thought I knew what Addison meant. I was just buying some time.
    â€œOr because he’s older?” Addison asked it carefully, so I considered my answer carefully.
    â€œHow old is he?”
    â€œHe doesn’t really believe in age in terms of numbers. He thinks it’s bigger than that. I’m one of the oldest people he knows.” Addison shrugged. “Maybe you were surprised he’s black?”
    â€œHe just wasn’t how I pictured him,” I said. Addison swung our clasped hands out, held them up to look at them. How many times had I said the wrong thing and ruined the perfect moment? “For one thing, I thought he was Jewish. Because of his last name.”
    â€œJoshua is Jewish.” Addison squeezed my hand as if he were about to let it go. I held harder. “African Americans can be Jewish, you know.”
    â€œI — I didn’t know that, actually.”
    â€œGreer, honestly? That’s so ignorant.” I felt sick to my stomach. The gabled buildings of McCracken Hill rose up against the dusky sky. We were almost back to campus. I prepared myself to tightrope walk the rest of the way. Addison said, “Judaism is a religion. A member of any race can practice any religion. We only limit ourselves.”
    â€œI don’t know what I was thinking,” I murmured. “I’m sorry.”
    â€œWhen I first met Joshua, everything about him blew my mind. It’s okay to have questions.” Addison wrapped his other arm around me. “We should all have so many questions for each other.”
    I had questions. What are we? If I were to write a letter home to a friend I no longer have, what would I call you? I wanted to pull him close by the collar of his shirt and ask him before he dropped me off at the door.
    He bent his head toward me, but he didn’t kiss me. “Greer, Greer — have no fear.”
    â€œNever,” I said, in the voice of the kind of girl who meant it. “Thank you for introducing me to Joshua,” I told him. “Good night,” I said and turned quickly inside, glad that I had said it first.

We got to have a routine. Addison usually got to breakfast much earlier than me, since he worked out in the mornings. So we’d see each other first in class. We stared at each other a lot, but not always. The thing about Addison was that he never made me feel embarrassed about the notes I was taking. I knew when I answered a question, he’d be listening and nodding, not rolling his eyes. It was different from back home.
    Ten minutes to walk across the building, down two flights of steps, and then across the hall into the dining commons. Maybe five minutes in line for food. Twenty-five minutes to sit at a table together for lunch. Another walk. Another class. Then separate counseling. Afterward we’d meet at the bottom of the hill by the gate. We’d walk to town and meet Joshua. Each day, I signed out and penciled in fresh air in the space left to write my destination. Addison never signed out. “What can they do if they catch me?” Apparently the Bradleys had some kind of court order for Addison to be at McCracken. It even meant they got to write the institution a smaller check.
    I knew I’d be staying the school year. “Right now the transcript’s looking good, Greer,” my father’s voice boomed in the hearty way that