answering service and told them Mrs. Standfield had changed her mind and flown back home. We called the concierge and told him to hold the ballet tickets for Tuesday night at the desk. âAt least sheâll be able to see the ballet,â I said. âThat should cheer her up.â
âNothingâs going to cheer her up. Sheâs going to kill us.â
âHow long will she sleep?â
âUntil five or six in the morning. It was a knockout dose.â
âI couldnât believe she just took it, put it in her mouth and swallowed it.â
âPeople trust doctors. They even trust first-year medical students.â
âYou slipped your mom a Mickey.â
âI know. I did, didnât I?â
âWhat if she calls the cops?â
âShe wonât call the cops on us.â
âWhat if she did?â
âThen there wouldnât be anyone left for her to love. Thatâs whatâs wrong with her, Sara. Thatâs why she wants to lie down on a table and get butchered. To have a different hope. God knows what she thinks it will do for her. Make her young again. Save her from the giants.â
âShe ought to have grandchildren by now. Only none of us wants to have them.â
âItâs the new world. People donât get what they think they ought to have. They have to think up new things to want.â
âElective surgery?â
âMaybe we should have let her do this.â He sat on the bed and took my hand. Such a sweet, fine, chubby medical student. I did love him. That much was true.
âMaybe we should make love.â
âNot right now. We need to get back out there and see whatâs going on.â
She slept until dawn. âThink how tired she must have been,â Kathleen kept saying. âSheâs just worn out with watching us grow up.â
âWe have to be more careful of her,â Arthur kept saying. âWe have to shield her from our pain.â
âBullshit,â Cary said several times. âChildren arenât responsible for their parentsâ lives. If she hadnât left Daddy, she wouldnât be alone. She left him when he was sick. I love her, but sheâs still a bitch.â
âMaybe she wanted to get in on the modern world,â I said once or twice. âMaybe she saw all these free young women and she wanted to be one.â
âShe was always free. A rich manâs daughter and a rich manâs wife.â
âThatâs not freedom. Thatâs chattel slavery.â
âItâs freedom to a starving peasant.â
âIt doesnât follow. It was slavery to her.â And so on and so forth. We talked a lot that night. Since we didnât sleep.
âSome vacation,â Arthur said. âWhat a pleasant rest.â See, heâs a real funny man and after this, I definitely will marry him.
Finally, it was dawn and she was waking up. We had put music on the CD player. We had made coffee. Kathleen had gone out to a deli and bought eggs and bread and butter and bacon and pancake mix and syrup. Arthur and I had slept a few hours, curled up in our clothes. Actually, it was the kind of night Iâd always dreamed of. A family in crisis and me in the middle of it. Decisions to be made, sacrifices called for, furrowed brows, the quick darting glances moving among us. You drugged me, she was going to say. You are disinherited.
Forgive us, we will plead. We love you. We donât want your face cut off and sewn back on to make your mouth into a straight line.
âWeâre sorry,â I said, as she opened her eyes. First one eye and then the other. âWe love you. We did it for you.â
âWhere am I?â She sat up on one elbow. âWhat time is it?â She pulled herself into a sitting position, shook her head, looked at me, then shifted her gaze to Kathleen.
âWe drugged you, Momma. You missed your appointment, by the way. Thereâs
Bethany-Kris, London Miller