The Act of Love

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Book: Read The Act of Love for Free Online
Authors: Howard Jacobson
character in a salacious fiction I wrote in imitation of all the salacious fiction I’d ever read (and what fiction isn’t salacious?) only when his image was before me. Once he was out of view, the fiction went unwritten. And it would have stayed unwritten had he not turned up entirely unexpectedly but opportunely some five or six years later – the years in which I’d fallen hard for Marisa – on an errand of the heart. Not normally where a normal person’s heart takes him, Felix Quinn: Antiquarian Booksellers, but Marius was no more normal a man than I was.
    He wanted us to retrieve a number of volumes of personal significance that had passed into our hands some years before. That was the gist of it. Not the volumes the professor had accused us of purloining on his deathbed, but others that had been the property of the professor’s wife and which she had not had time to take away with her when she eloped. It wasn’t with me that he made his appointment, indeed he had no reason to connect me with the shop, but Andrew, remembering my interest – he remembered everything: every book that anyone had ever wanted, every book that we have ever sold, every book that anyone had ever written – informed me Marius was coming in. I was in my office when he called and recognised him immediately, though heavy glass separated us and he was much changed. He carried his height differently, less imperiously,more as an excuse for abstraction. He had grown moustaches, great sealion excrescences which he wore, like a Swedish adventurer’s, as though to give himself the look of someone with something to hide. But which to me gave him even more the look of a bodice-ripper sadist. From the number of times Andrew had to incline towards him, sometimes going so far as to pull his ponytail clear of his face and tug the tip of his ear, I gathered that Marius had become a mumbler too.
    He didn’t see me and if he had he would not have remembered me. I was beneath his notice, in all senses.
    Though he’d already written to us with his request, there were still procedures to go through before we could find him what he wanted. We don’t, at Felix Quinn: Antiquarian Booksellers, hurry clients, nor do we like them to hurry us. You come in, you talk, you go away, and then we send you a parcel or we don’t. Even if the books you seek are visible on the shelves we still write out an order form and institute a search. In the age of Amazon these virtues are appreciated by our customers. Marius left us his address. Out of idle curiosity – another interpretation would say out of suicidal curiosity – I checked to see where he was living now. Surely not in sodden Shropshire still. And in this I was right again. The countryside was no place for a flower of evil such as Marius. What I hadn’t expected, though, was to find that he’d moved to all intents and purposes next door, into the purlieus of my marriage.
    For a moment or two everything went very still about my heart. Peace, was it? The peace the gods send you on the eve of certain destruction? Just to be sure I was not destroyed already I went up into the street and looked into the faces of people going about their business. Blank, most of them. Ignorant of the sort of secret I was carrying. But they might have thought the same about me. You never know what’s lying still about the heart of anyone.
    According to the Elizabethans, Fortune is a whore. You have to take that with a pinch of salt. The Elizabethans saw whores everywhere. They were besotted with the word’s hoarse and poxy music and grew drunkon that disenchantment with women – indeed that disenchantment with the sexual life in general – which it denotes. Horn-mad and whoreobsessed, they fornicated, contracted syphilis, feared that every smile concealed a lie, and thought no woman chaste. I, who am no less intemperate but view the falseness of women differently – let us say as an opportunity rather than a bane, and certainly

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