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but she pauses as she passes by me.
    "Word of advice," she mutters, grabbing a small pastry and devouring it with all the fervor I imagine she wants to devour him. "If you're thinking it might be fun to do one of those 'who can go longer without sex' wagers, it's not ."
    I almost burst out laughing, but I'm conscious of Adrian still standing not too far away from me. "Why...?"
    "Because I thought I could win ," she says. "Easily. Now look at me, I'm resorting to guerrilla tactics. And he's completely merciless. Do you know he's worn nothing but button-down jeans around the house for the last three days? And I do mean nothing ." She shoots a brief, baleful glance in his direction. "And it's driven me to the point of insanity where I'm just blabbering to a stranger about my sex life."
    "Your secret's safe with me," I assure her. "I think you've got him. Stay strong. For womankind."  
    She snorts with laughter. "Thanks, but no promises. I'd better go."
    "Good luck," I call after her, and a moment later, Adrian passes by, grabbing a handful of small cookies without slowing in his stride.  
    "No fair taking sides," he says through clenched teeth. "You have no idea what I've been through."
     

     
    ***
    When I finally get home, I plug in my phone and check for anything new from M. There's only one message in the app.

    M: New rule. When you want me, you are to drop your panties on the floor, take a picture, and send it to me. Otherwise I won't respond.

    In spite of myself, I just smirk. Nobody could ever accuse him of being anything but straightforward. And right now, that's exactly what I need.  

    Yes, Sir.

    He doesn't answer. I drift off to sleep with my phone resting on my stomach and my hand on top of that, just in case.  

CHAPTER FIVE
A Decent Proposal

    Dean

    Lissy just so happens to have a meeting with her agent the same week her parents are visiting. One to which I'm not invited. Of course. It all seems a little bit too convenient, but I'm not arguing with her. Of course Lissy would never lie about her whereabouts just to get a little time to herself. Lissy sits in flawless judgment of all those around her.
    Bitter? Why would I be bitter? After five years, to have her turn on me like a rabid dog - I don't care if you literally catch somebody with their dick out, you don't go cold like that. Not with somebody you love. It's not possible. You think I haven't been hurt before? Betrayed? Well, I fucking have. And I could never just flip that switch. I wish it was that simple, believe me.
    The instant she decided on her version of the truth, there was no hope for me. She was done with me. Her heart turned to stone, or maybe it always was, and that was just the moment I realized it.  
    Of course I knew about Andrew. That's why things got so out of hand in the first place. She told me all about that scumbag on our second date, eyes going glassy over a giant salad that she didn't even want to eat, that she only ordered because she didn't want to look "like a pig." (Her words, not mine.) She apologized a thousand times, said she knew how obnoxious it was to hear about somebody's ex, but she just needed to get it off her chest. Needed me to understand why she was a little skittish.  
    Well, who wouldn't be? Let's be honest, these days cheating is a garden-variety offense in relationships. But most people don't make a point of shoving it in their partner's face. Andrew was a champion at that. He turned the other woman into the purloined letter, the betrayal that was so obvious it couldn't be a real betrayal. Because if he wanted to cheat, surely he'd do it behind Lissy's back. And Lissy, ever accommodating, ever wanting to be the cool girlfriend , made the biggest mistake of her life.
    She trusted him.
    And then, one day, like something out of a Biz Markie song, she found out that other girl wasn't "just a friend."
    It shattered her world, but she thought she'd managed to pick up all the pieces. I could tell otherwise.