being the designated driver while they drank, or made-out with bimbos, but God forbid I was flirting with anyone. Both of them would suddenly sober up and become super protective.
“Nah man, the bar scene ain’t for me lately. Let’s just play some games here.” Ben looks at me while he’s talking and I can’t help but feel a bit of relief, knowing he won’t be getting into anyone’s pants. I’m so stupid.
“Wow and I thought Florida was like an old peoples’ home. Then I come back here and realize, compared to you they are the life of the party,” Dave sighs in mock annoyance. “Okay Ben, let’s go and shoot some shit then.”
Chapter 4
A Trip Down Memory Lane
It takes a while to get Archer to sleep. My mom has kept him so hyped up all day, he needs a while to calm back down. Once he’s asleep, I can head to the shower. For some strange reason, this has always been a safe place for me. I know I can be alone here. No one is going to bother me. I can let go of the control I’m desperately holding onto, can allow my emotions to spill over. I can think — undisturbed and unbothered.
After the shower, I get comfortable in my pajamas and sit in my window nook. As a teenager, I’ve loved having one of those. I remember this was the coolest thing back in the day. Drake actually climbed through that very window a few times—unknowing to my parents, except that one time when my dad caught him.
I snuggle up into the corner, leaning my head back against the wall and just looking into the cold November night. The tree outside my window throws creepy shadows into the room and I have to smile, remembering how I loved it when I was younger. I used to make up all these horror stories in my head, to the point where I was too scared to fall asleep and would sneak into Dave’s room with my quilt and pillow, making myself comfortable on his bean bag.
I try to keep certain other memories at bay, but I can’t help it. And it doesn’t take long until I’m right back here in my parents’ house eighteen months ago—that one night in May.
One of my friends from high school had gotten engaged, and together with a few others, we decided it should be celebrated. All of us agreed to meet back home. Dean wanted to visit his family anyway, so we decided to drive back to Michigan. I knew my parents were away that weekend, but since I didn’t plan to spend much time at home, it wasn’t like I was missing out on any family time. Dave was living with our parents, but I didn’t expect to see much of him. He’d usually spend his evenings charming the panties off of college girls.
I had just walked through the door from the night out celebrating with the girls, when I noticed Ben sitting on our couch. He’d had a key to our house for years. My parents took a liking to him the first time he and Dave played together as toddlers. Since then, my brother and Ben had been inseparable. He was more at home in our house than in his own, with both his parents working odd and long hours at the bed and breakfast they owned.
When I saw him sitting on the couch and really looked at him, I realized that he looked absolutely broken. Pain, confusion, and despair were etched onto his otherwise handsome face. And if that wouldn’t have given away that something was utterly wrong, him playing my parents old LPs while holding onto a whiskey bottle like it was a lifeline, would have done the job. I walked up to him and sat down on the couch next to him. When he looked up, there was an empty expression in his eyes. I had never seen them like that. His eyes normally told you what he thought or felt, even before he opened that big mouth of his. I placed my hand on his shoulder.
“ Hey, what’s wrong?” He didn’t even look up, but took a swig out of the whiskey bottle instead.
“ My life—that’s what’s wrong.” His voice sounded deflated. Resigned.
“ What happened? You wanna talk about it?”
“