his dad had ever fought to keep his marriage alive. Any of them. He’d been too busy being a cop. There hadn’t been room for anything else, other than his addiction to alcohol.
His dad had eventually hit rock bottom and gone to an AA meeting. He’d been sober for over six years now. But he was still a cop through and through. That hadn’t changed. Being a police officer was his first priority.
Connor was the same. His older brother Logan got that even though he teased him about being a cop in a podunk town.
On his good days, Connor told himself he’d come to Hopeful to find something—to make a difference—not to run from something. On his bad days, those words did little to stop the guilt that was like an explosive device in his gut.
Marissa had been the first to gently accuse him of using humor as a shield to hide his feelings. Several other women had made the same accusation in the intervening years but Marissa had been the first. She’d been pretty damn smart for her age.
She was obviously still pretty damn smart if she was a librarian. The dark circles he’d seen under her eyes indicated that she was having a hard time, which madehim feel like even more of a bastard. He hadn’t come outside to hassle her.
So why did you do it, Doyle?
he asked himself.
Hell if he knew. He had a lot to figure out where Rissa…Marissa was concerned.
* * *
Monday morning, Marissa pulled her lame lime-green VW into a spot in the employees-only section of the library’s parking lot. Not wanting to be late, she’d given herself plenty of time. She’d also changed her clothes several times, not that she’d had that many clothes with her. She certainly couldn’t afford to buy anything new. She was lucky to have some classic pieces that she could mix and match to make them look different. And her collection of silver jewelry usually lifted her spirits. Today she’d chosen the oval dangle moonstone earrings and matching pendant. Her sky-blue top and black pants were also confidence boosters. Usually. On most days. But then, today wasn’t like most days.
Today was her first day on the job. A new job that she couldn’t afford to screw up. She had to make up for her disastrous first impression at the parade. Her first objective today was to apologize to her boss.
Roz Jorgen was waiting for Marissa. “Come in.” She motioned her forward into her office and cleared a chair for Marissa.
“I’m so sorry,” Marissa said before she even sat down. “I didn’t mean to make a scene in the parade and ruin things.”
“You didn’t ruin anything.”
“I certainly don’t want to do anything that mightreflect badly on the library. I’m not a rowdy person,” she assured her new boss. “Really I’m not.”
“Despite the Green Day song blaring out of your car?”
“That’s from a CD I burned with some of my favorite songs but sometimes I can’t get the darn CD player to turn off.”
“Sounds like the radio in Bumblebee.” At Marissa’s confused look, Roz added, “You know, the yellow car in the Transformer movies. My grandson is a big fan.”
“Right.” Marissa was nervous or she would have made the connection herself. At her previous job as Young Adult librarian she had a lot of interaction with teens and preteens who quizzed her on everything from which guy Katniss should choose in the Hunger Games trilogy to who Bella should choose in the Twilight saga. “Anyway, I’m sorry my wrong turn landed me in the middle of the parade.”
“You certainly know how to make an entrance,” Roz said.
“That wasn’t my intention. Far from it.”
“It certainly upped the interest in our new librarian. I suspect a number of our patrons will be stopping by today to check you out. No pun intended.”
Marissa tried not to slide down in her chair like she did in high school algebra class so the teacher wouldn’t call on her. She so did not want the spotlight on her right now.
You can’t afford to be