Read Talk to Strangers: How Everyday, Random Encounters Can Expand Your Business, Career, Income, and Life for Free Online

networking events tend to attract people searching for influence, not those who have it.
     
     
There is no bad networking, just some that’s more fruitful than others.
     
     
The real action is often in the places you least expect to find it.
     
     

Chapter 7
     
    Face It: Nothing Beats the Chemistry of In-Person Communication
     
    As the world goes digital and relationships are increasingly available with the click of a mouse, the opportunities for face-to-face interaction seem to be waning. But that very reason is what makes the value of in-person communication even greater.
     
    In a society that increasingly exists on the Internet, the impact and importance of in-person communication has given way to keyboards, wireless routers, computer screens, and pixels. Most young people don’t think of personal contact first as a way to build relationships. They would be more likely to tweet or “friend.” Yet face-to-face, in-person communication is the richest, most complete form of interaction two people can have. It’s better than a phone conversation, better than an e-mail exchange, and better than a text message, a tweet, a LinkedIn in-message, or Facebook friend request.
     
    We’ve all had the experience of communicating with someone via e-mail, text, or phone, sometimes even over an extended period of time, where we create a visual picture of the person and their personality. Sometimes we even have a picture of them. We might think we really know them. Then we meet in person, and WOW—we get a whole new perspective when we’re finally in their physical presence.
     
    Call it chemistry. Call it an energy field or a vibe. But whatever you call it, you surely know what it is. And you no doubt experience it in your everyday life. It’s what motivates you to get together with someone when you have something important to discuss. It’s what causes you to want to meet with someone in person when you really want to get to know him or her. Just seeing the person is not enough, as anyone who has videoconferenced or used Skype can attest. Admittedly, seeing someone via video is better than only hearing the person’s voice, and generally better than interacting in writing. However, if you’ve ever met someone in person after having a video or Skype exchange, you realize the power of in-person chemistry.
     
    Unfortunately, this growing emphasis on social networking means that a lot of people are missing the chance to make high-quality connections and form solid relationships. And as fewer people practice face-to-face networking, they also lose the chance to hone the skills that it requires. Some people are more introverted than others: they don’t like to reach out to complete strangers. It’s intimidating, awkward, unfamiliar, and threatening to them. Yet as with any skill, the more you practice it, the easier it gets—and the better you become at it. Making a point of talking to strangers, building rapport with new connections, and cultivating face-to-face relationships will strengthen your ability to do so. Shaking someone’s hand, looking that person in the eyes, sharing physical space, and exchanging mutually respectful conversation will become more comfortable and enriching every time you do these things.
     
    In-person communication is packed with information about the other person and what makes him or her tick. Your ability to observe and gauge the other person’s responses can tell you how he or she really feels and what he or she truly thinks. Unlike online networking, face-to-face interaction provides more—and more fruitful—information. Being in someone’s presence lets you look into that person’s eyes, watch physical movements, and hear the subtleties of the voice. And although you can pick up voice clues on the phone, in-person communication offers a complete “information package.” You can witness the other person’s body language and reactions to what you say. You can discern subtle