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bought his photo album on sale at Woolworth’s a few years ago to accommodate some Polaroids. The album now holds over seventy snapshots and glossies, all signed with lipstick kisses and true love. A limo driver by day, Lou is a regular old duke at the Melody Burlesk—one of their up-and-coming resident uncles, a young pup of fifty-one. He’s a sad-eyed fan of the porn starlets and a soft-spoken barroom confidant to the Mardi Gras gals. Raven De La Croix, whom he greets in a stretch limousine at the airport whenever she plays New York, is the only stripper he drives for free. Some of the other chauffeurs might mistake her for Lou’s girlfriend, but Lou considers himself “part of her family.” He’s not looking to show off, and keeps the photo album as a private shrine to porn queens who’ve come to think of him affectionately as “Uncle Lou.” And he really does want merely to uncle the girls, although, “If I’m attracted to one, and she wants to make the big scene with me, and she’s a consenting adult—I won’t turn her down.”
    The first entry in Lou’s scrapbook is Raven’s poster of The Lost Empire . Publicity stills and Polaroids from each of her New York engagements show her arm in arm with a smiling Uncle Lou outside Bernard’s and in the Melody lobby. They age together. Polaroids of Hyapatia Lee occupy the next two pages, the Indian squaw leaning fully against her admirer at the opening of The Young Like It Hot , her New York debut. “The first time I was just a paying customer who came in and posed for a five-dollar shot,” says Lou. “She’s like a little Raven.”
    “Thanks for cumming,” reads Lee’s inscription on the top photo.
    “I came back to the theater a second time and brought her a little bottle of perfume shaped like the Eiffel Tower. Then I came back a third time, when she stripped at Show World, and she remembered me from the perfume.” Pictures from his third visit show a stark naked Hyapatia Lee with her tongue jammed down Uncle Lou’s throat and her hand upon his crotch. Another shot has Uncle Lou returning the gesture, copping a generous helping of boob and vage. “I’ll always remember my favorite New Yorker,” says Lee’s third inscription. Known for quenching a flaming dildo between her legs, Lee couldn’t perform the gimmick due to strict Fire Department regulations at Show World.
    On the next page comes Marilyn Chambers’ glossy from the opening of Insatiable, inscribed “Lou—Love and all my hot, wet licks.” Then comes Seka, naked on Lou’s lap at the Melody, and being carried off, Clark Gable style. Uncle Lou raises the plastic covering from the page. “The advantage of this book is that you can lift ‘em out and put ‘em back. People can put their fingers on ‘em and not spoil the picture.” The back of Seka’s snapshot, dated 2-2-80, when she set the all-time attendance record for the Melody, says “Much love and happiness.” At that time porn queens charged $3 a Polaroid; within four years they’ve risen to $5, sometimes $7.
    Lou acquired a glossy of Constance Money that she emblazoned with a slutty lipstick smack, during the opening of A Taste of Money . Kelly Nichols, who Lou chauffeured to the 1983 Erotic Film Awards, writes “Love and lust to a fan who cares” on her lofty publicity still. “It’s very hard to meet these girls for the first time when you’re a spectator,” says Lou. The next nude portrait is a star who lets no man paw her for photos: “To Lou—Love, Annette Haven. 5-30-82.”
    “She was in the lobby of the Pussycat when High School Memories opened. I stopped over a few times and spoke with her. She’s very intelligent and personable. I understand she went to college and excelled in physics. It was a little hard to chat with five guys surrounding her at once, so I sent a letter. If I express my sentiments through a personal note, they sometimes respond.” Untouchable Annette sent Lou a solicitation for her