make her keep going back to him. I donât make eye contact with Emmet. Even when one of his mates looks over, says something to him and they both laugh.
The bell goes at last and I trail in behind everyone to English with Psycho Sykes. Macbeth . Crap. But thereâs just this one thing that stays in my head. Whatâs done cannot be undone . If I could undo breaking Emmetâs nose. Thatâs what started all this. If I hadnât done it ⦠if Barry hadnât come round to the house ⦠if Iâd known Mum wasnât just sleeping off a hangover. If if if. I know itâs all my fault. And Mum does too. Why else would she not even want to see me? Sheâs been in three days and I havenât seen her since the first day. Colette tried to tell me it was the doctorsâ decision, that she should be left in peace or something but sheâs only saying that.
I canât think these thoughts. I shove them as far away as I can. Itâs like I have a wardrobe in my head, a really tall one, and I pile all these horrible thoughts on top of it, out of sight. I try to make sure they stay there by paying attention in every class, which makes the teachers give me very funny looks.
Chapter 6
VICKY
âYou havenât forgotten about taking me up to Camâs tonight?â I asked Mum as we pulled out of the driveway. She had been giving me a lift to school all week, but early, so she could get across town to take Declan to his school. It was called St Something-or-otherâs â Iâd never even heard of it â and you should have seen their uniform â cheap, nylon blazers with the badge tacked on with big stitches, and trainers instead of shoes.
âNo, thatâs OK. But,â she went on, with a glance in the rear-view mirror at Declan in the back seat, âDeclan and I are going to see his mum after school. So itâll be a bit of a rush. You need to be ready, homework done and everything, when we get back.â
âOh.â I hated coming home to an empty house. Then I thought it wouldnât be much fun for Mum either, hospital visiting. âWhat about tea?â
âIâll leave something ready. A chilli or something. You might have to put it in the oven, though.â
âDid you remember to ask Dad about the horsebox?â
âYes.â She sighed. If Mum hated towing the horsebox there was at least one thing she hated more: phoning Dad. Not that sheâd ever said, but when I heard them on the phone their voices were weird. Sort of super-polite. It was hard to imagine theyâd been married to each other for years.
We turned into the road where my school was. All you could see were lines of girls walking down the hill. Green skirts and grey blazers everywhere. Wool blazers.
âYou donât need to take me right to the gate,â I said.
Mum looked puzzled. She could be slow to catch on. âBut sure I have to go all the way down anyway to get on to the Lisburn Road.â
âYeah, well, I want to walk.â I caught sight of Flissâs long, dark pony-tail. Even with high heels on â Mad Max was always catching her but she kept on wearing them â she was tiny beside Niamh, who she was walking with. Niamh was tall, like me, but skinnier. âLook, thereâs Fliss. I have to ask her about the physics homework.â
Fliss was looking at something on Niamhâs phone. They were giggling. No way did I want them to look into the car and see him sitting in the back seat with his nylon blazer and his earring and his wee hard man haircut.
Mum sighed. âOK, OK, I can pull in here. Iâll leave you a note on the table if I need you to do any cooking. Donât forget to check. See you later, love. Got your PE bag?â She turned round to Declan. âYou might as well jump out and get in the front. No point in you sitting back there all the way to school.â
âSee ya!â I leaped out and