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make her keep going back to him. I don’t make eye contact with Emmet. Even when one of his mates looks over, says something to him and they both laugh.
    The bell goes at last and I trail in behind everyone to English with Psycho Sykes. Macbeth . Crap. But there’s just this one thing that stays in my head. What’s done cannot be undone . If I could undo breaking Emmet’s nose. That’s what started all this. If I hadn’t done it … if Barry hadn’t come round to the house … if I’d known Mum wasn’t just sleeping off a hangover. If if if. I know it’s all my fault. And Mum does too. Why else would she not even want to see me? She’s been in three days and I haven’t seen her since the first day. Colette tried to tell me it was the doctors’ decision, that she should be left in peace or something but she’s only saying that.
    I can’t think these thoughts. I shove them as far away as I can. It’s like I have a wardrobe in my head, a really tall one, and I pile all these horrible thoughts on top of it, out of sight. I try to make sure they stay there by paying attention in every class, which makes the teachers give me very funny looks.

Chapter 6
    VICKY
    â€˜You haven’t forgotten about taking me up to Cam’s tonight?’ I asked Mum as we pulled out of the driveway. She had been giving me a lift to school all week, but early, so she could get across town to take Declan to his school. It was called St Something-or-other’s – I’d never even heard of it – and you should have seen their uniform – cheap, nylon blazers with the badge tacked on with big stitches, and trainers instead of shoes.
    â€˜No, that’s OK. But,’ she went on, with a glance in the rear-view mirror at Declan in the back seat, ‘Declan and I are going to see his mum after school. So it’ll be a bit of a rush. You need to be ready, homework done and everything, when we get back.’
    â€˜Oh.’ I hated coming home to an empty house. Then I thought it wouldn’t be much fun for Mum either, hospital visiting. ‘What about tea?’
    â€˜I’ll leave something ready. A chilli or something. You might have to put it in the oven, though.’
    â€˜Did you remember to ask Dad about the horsebox?’
    â€˜Yes.’ She sighed. If Mum hated towing the horsebox there was at least one thing she hated more: phoning Dad. Not that she’d ever said, but when I heard them on the phone their voices were weird. Sort of super-polite. It was hard to imagine they’d been married to each other for years.
    We turned into the road where my school was. All you could see were lines of girls walking down the hill. Green skirts and grey blazers everywhere. Wool blazers.
    â€˜You don’t need to take me right to the gate,’ I said.
    Mum looked puzzled. She could be slow to catch on. ‘But sure I have to go all the way down anyway to get on to the Lisburn Road.’
    â€˜Yeah, well, I want to walk.’ I caught sight of Fliss’s long, dark pony-tail. Even with high heels on – Mad Max was always catching her but she kept on wearing them – she was tiny beside Niamh, who she was walking with. Niamh was tall, like me, but skinnier. ‘Look, there’s Fliss. I have to ask her about the physics homework.’
    Fliss was looking at something on Niamh’s phone. They were giggling. No way did I want them to look into the car and see him sitting in the back seat with his nylon blazer and his earring and his wee hard man haircut.
    Mum sighed. ‘OK, OK, I can pull in here. I’ll leave you a note on the table if I need you to do any cooking. Don’t forget to check. See you later, love. Got your PE bag?’ She turned round to Declan. ‘You might as well jump out and get in the front. No point in you sitting back there all the way to school.’
    â€˜See ya!’ I leaped out and