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that made me cry.” I exhaled, taking a much needed deep breath of release, while he looked like he was in severe pain. I could see the regret in his face, it was far too late for that now, but I knew he deserved to know how I’ve been feeling this whole time. His grip on my arms tightened around me even more, and he moved closer to my tear stained face. “Kathleen, I meant it… please believe me.” He pleaded with me.
    “I don’t believe you, and even if I did… it doesn’t mean nothing now. I’ve shed my last tears over you, and Operation ignore that asshole is back in full effect now. Just let me go. Find someone else to make cry, because I’m done.” I turned and walked towards the front door, with my head lowered, feeling utterly drained and confused. If this was a taste of love, then I didn’t want it. I had almost reached the door, and noticed that there were two adults standing in the doorway, watching us intensely. This halted me in my tracks. I turned back to see him, and he looked as if he was in pure turmoil. I turned and ran out of the house, as they all looked at me, speechless. I went home vowing to never let anyone seduce me with words again. No matter who they were, this would not happen to me again.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

Chapter 6
     
    SPRING BREAK WAS now over, and school had been back in session for almost a week now, but I was still in somewhat of a daze. Blair was back from her trip, and she was so happy to be home, I was happy for her to be back as well. We emailed and text a little while she was away, but I was a little depressed with everything that had happened with Johnathan. So, I kept busy as best I could, even if that meant avoiding her calls and probing. Blair was one who could read me, even over the phone, so to avoid the interrogation, I found myself reading and sleeping mostly. I really did miss her, so while we sat at the lunch table at school, she told me more about her trip. I sat there, half listening, while wondering if I should tell her what happened, between me and Johnathan. Or if I should let the whole thing pass, and try to finish the remainder of this school year, in peace.
    That question alone had me consumed for the last week or so. It was hard to deal with, but the part I played in it made me feel as if I betrayed my best friend. The guilt was eating at me, gnawing at me, and I didn’t like it one bit. But then again, didn’t she betray me first? Why would she date him if she knew I had a crush on him? If it was me, I would have never gone after the guy she liked, even if she told me I could. My thoughts had me over thinking everything that had happened so far. I was so confused, and decided to avoid them both, as best as I could. So, I stayed  away  from  him,  and  barely  talked around  her.  I think I was still in shock. Blair confessed to me a few days ago, that Johnathan had still not kissed her, or invited her to his house as of yet. Both things I had managed to get done, within a few hours of her absence. That admission made my head spin even more, and I didn’t understand it.
    Why me, and not any of those girls he was prancing around the hall with for the last three and a half months? Was he not kissing any of them? Were they never really invited to his home? He did tell me that I was the only girl to be in his room, and that he was just hanging out with those other girls. But could I believe that?
    Operation ignore that asshole was somewhat good on my end physically, but it failed emotionally. My emotions were all over the place, and he was, unfortunately, at the center of them all. How could I hate, and like a person at the same time? These feelings were new to me, and it was obvious when I was at his house, that I still couldn’t handle them. I hated him one second, and then the next I was kissing him back, with a hunger that I’ve never felt in my entire life. I think he was really struggling with his feelings for me,