Read Survivalist - 22 - Brutal Conquest for Free Online

the rescued girl, Mary Ann, was oddly enough able to match it. And Natalia reasoned that it might well be that the girl ran on some sort of mental ether, just because returning home to family and loved ones would soon be a reality.
    The girl was out of earshot, in any event. Natalia Anastasia Tiemerovna had been at once waiting for and dreading the opportunity now presented to her. But she used it. “I need to talk with you, John.”
    “I always liked talking to you, and I suspect I always will. But there’s nothing you have to say to me, okay?” He looked at her and smiled.
    They had been walking for well over an hour, and as Natalia looked back, she could no longer even see the lightning over the rift valley. By now, Paul and Annie, along with Martin Zimmer and the other women, would be moving again, following them. John had made the right decision. Go on ahead, find transportation of some sort, see if transportation could be brought back for the women, or at the least bring clothing and food. While one of them did that, the other could go for help.
    Natalia began to speak again. “Everyone thought—” “Look-“
    “Let me say it, damnit, John,” Natalia almost whispered. “All right.”
    “I was alone. You and Sarah were in the Sleep again. I never had any intention of taking the Sleep again myself. I told myself that maybe it was Fate or something. Can you imagine how awkward I felt? I was in love with you and you were in love with me and there was Sarah. You loved her and she became my friend? I mean, I was—There was just—”
    John told her, “I understand. I approve—”
    “Damnit, John! You approve? We didn’t take the Sleep, Michael and I, so you could approve or disapprove. We took it so we could tell you. You would wake up sometime in the future and find out what happened to me and to Michael, and who knows what you would think. I owe you an explanation You do not owe me approval. I was lonely. Michael was there—”
    “Look” John interrupted.
    “No. You look, John. It’s not that I attached myself to Michael because you were no longer around. Don’t ever think that. I love you. But I love Michael. I did not realize that until after you were gone. And then I had a choice. I cannot be like you. I’m not that good. Maybe I’m too human. My life was meaningless. And there was Michael. And when he made love to me the first time—”
    “I don’t want to hear it, all right?” John said.
    “No. You have to, so you will understand. I was afraid. I was terrified that I’d be telling myself it was you making love to me, like I had always wanted you to. But, when it happened, it was Michael. In reality and in my mind. I never gave myself to anyone like that before and-“
    John stopped walking, his hands going to her arms,
    turning her around abrupdy to face him. “Look. Maybe you don’t want my approval, but you’re getting it anyway. I love you. I have since the first time I saw you. But it wouldn’t work for us. Sure, if things had been different … but they weren’t. We can still be friends. We can still have that kind of love. I’m happy for you and I’m happy for Michael. And maybe when Sarah awakens, comes out of it …” His words slowed, as if somehow they were recorded on a machine and the electricity were dropping off. “When she has that—that operation.” He sniffed, and she saw tears forming in the corners of his eyes. “Maybe … maybe Sarah and I can just live like two—two—”
    And he started to turn away from her. Natalia broke free of his hands, threw her arms around his neck, and drew his head down. He bent it toward her easily.
    She held him.
    Natalia knew the words he had been about to say. They were her dream, too.
    The words he couldn’t say without weeping were simple words, ordinary words. But they did not apply. She doubted they ever would to John and Sarah, to Paul and Annie, to Michael and herself, either.
    Normal people were the words.
    Normal