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view.
    â€œWow,” Vivian said. “This is just like looking at Google Maps, but instead of a neighborhood you can see a whole planet.”
    â€œGríöarstór Nef,” Dr. Wackjöb said to me, “this is the planet Apnea, four billion light-years from Earth. Home of the aliens that are snatching your snores.”

CHAPTER 13
    SNORE DESTRUCTION
    W e have to let the world know!” TJ shouted. “This is the greatest discovery in the history of mankind!”
    Dr. Wackjöb looked at TJ with a frown. “Young man, I have informed NASA, the British Interplanetary Society, the Russian Space Federation, and even a Wal-Mart security guard,” he said bitterly. “I sent them the exact galactic coordinates of my planetary discovery. No one believes me enough to bother looking.”
    â€œCan you zoom in closer?” I asked.
    With a press of a button, the Cosmoscope focused in on the planet Apnea.We saw thousands of aliens that looked just like the ones who shoved hoses up my nose. The extraterrestrial beings seemed to be hovering around a large, metallic-looking object.
    â€œWhat’s that thing they’re working so hard on?” Vivian asked.
    â€œNot sure,” Dr. Wackjöb answered. “It is partially obscured by a reflective light shield. Do you see the planet’s two suns in the distance?”
    We nodded our heads.
    â€œAs the planet revolves around the suns, the Apneans will move the light shield. Perhaps then, we can get a glimpse of their laborious project.”
    â€œI want to see it now,” Jimmy groaned.
    â€œHave patience, my boy. Our planet revolves every twenty-four hours, but Apnea revolves every two hours.That’s how long we have to wait until they move the light shield.”
    For the next one hundred and twenty minutes, we listened as Dr. Wackjöb explained his theory of UFOs, earthquakes, and alien abductions.With the video of the spacemen sucking snores from my booger maker, his work was no longer a theory, but a proven fact.
    â€œGríöarstór Nef,” Dr. Wackjöb said to me, “Apnea is in trouble.”
    â€œWhat are you talking about?” I asked.
    â€œOur world derives its power mostly from fossil fuels,” Dr.Wackjöb explained. “Apneans, on the other hand, have no such resource. They use solar power originating from their two suns.”
    Vivian scratched her head. “I can’t wrap my brain around this,” she said. “What do solar power and Schnoz’s snoring have to do with each other?”
    â€œLook at their two suns on the screen,” Dr. Wackjöb instructed. “Tell me what you see.”
    â€œI see two big red suns that pulse every few minutes,” Mumps said, still looking a bit nauseous from his latest blackout.
    â€œThat is an excellent observation. Although our own sun looks yellow, it is actually white. Only when the sun’s light passes through Earth’s atmosphere does it change from white to the yellow color we see. That is the sign of healthy, relatively young sun.”
    â€œThanks for the science lesson,” I said impatiently. “What’s your point?”
    Dr. Wackjöb turned to look at me. “The point is that a sun nearing the end of its life throbs like a giant heart. It runs out of hydrogen fuel at its core like a motorcycle engine runs out of gas. It also turns a brilliant bloody red, just like the two suns of Apnea.”
    â€œSo their two suns are dying,” Vivian reasoned. “Without a sun they have no solar power.Without solar power they…”
    â€œThey find another place to live,” Dr. Wackjöb interrupted. “When Apnea’s suns die, the planet will die. Its inhabitants are acutely aware of this. The Apneans need Gríöarstór Nef’s snores for destruction.” Dr. Wackjöb’s face grew gravely serious. He looked me in the eye and said, “The Apneans have been